WIP (Work In Progress)
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Manjaman
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Quote Manjaman Replybullet Topic: Chupa
    Posted: 19 October 2009 at 2:19pm
Hi there !
Just wanted your opinion about this :

This is my entry for the challenge (illustrating lust, but you could see gluttony also )
Do you think it looks unfinished ? How could I improve it ?
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Manupix
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Quote Manupix Replybullet Posted: 19 October 2009 at 2:47pm
What, faster than Orenshtiv?!

Great job!
I'd say this: the hand looks a little too small compared to the face; I'm not fond or the cleft in the palm nor the black shading under the fingers; the background hair (?) might look better.

I love the illusion of a gradient in the orange!
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Hapiel
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Quote Hapiel Replybullet Posted: 19 October 2009 at 3:09pm
Wonderful!

I suggest a higher contrast between the red and the purple, maybe a darker purple?
And on the chupa, please remove that banding. Thats about it, it is a wonderful piece!


Oh, and the top rigth corner looks cheap. Are you sure that you want that there, with that color? Why not go wild with the chupachup ones?


Edited by Lollige - 19 October 2009 at 3:08pm
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Hatch
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Quote Hatch Replybullet Posted: 19 October 2009 at 3:12pm
Quick edit for anatomy, proportions, and femininity:



Still not perfect (I fiddled with her nose forever and never got it right) but I think it's a little closer. She looked a bit fat with that extra mass under her chin, too.
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jalonso
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Quote jalonso Replybullet Posted: 19 October 2009 at 7:29pm
Very nice. Somehow at this point I find the candy too colorful and somewhat distracting. Maybe a transluscent one would look nice????
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Manjaman
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Quote Manjaman Replybullet Posted: 19 October 2009 at 10:32pm
Sorry Hatch, but to be honest I find my face more realistic and beautiful than yours (pleeaaase, don't hit me !). Anyway, thanks for your edit.
Thanks you very much guys, your advises are very helpul !
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Pragz
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Quote Pragz Replybullet Posted: 19 October 2009 at 10:53pm
I agree with you, Manja. I think the original looks better and is in better proportion to the hand (should I fear Hatch too? o.o).

However, just a few things I'd touch up:



1 Her neck has an awkward bump. Just kind of smoothed that out.
2. Her fingernails offer you a little space to break up the red. Gives just a little extra detail.
3. You need some AA on that hand, buddy!
4. The spirals up top need work. I did a little refinement but it needs more work. I'm just outta' time cuz' it's 2 AM here. ; ~;
Hello - I'm new here. :)
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Hatch
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Quote Hatch Replybullet Posted: 19 October 2009 at 11:00pm
Heh, you guys are silly. If my post wasn't helpful, I should be the one apologizing. Anyhoo, I did make the face a good deal smaller, which made the lips and hand proportionally out of whack. I didn't think it was necessary to mention this. Still, I think in general my anatomy and proportions were an improvement, but of course I'm no expert.

Regardless, I think you should reconsider the nose--a looks a bit cartoony,
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Manjaman
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Quote Manjaman Replybullet Posted: 20 October 2009 at 1:03pm
I fixed a few problems you pointed out :

I also tried to draw Art Nouveau hairs. What do you think of them ?

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Manupix
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Quote Manupix Replybullet Posted: 20 October 2009 at 1:15pm
Better: hand, bg, chin.
Maybe better: lips, but somehow they make the rest of the face more flat. Or is it me?
Maybe not better: chupa, hair on forehead.

The bg hair is too evenly spaced, too much on a line.

I too much prefer your profile than Hatch's: natural hotness vs magazine gloss. OK, got to go, plane for south america leaves in no time, forged papers should be ready by then.
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ellie-is
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Quote ellie-is Replybullet Posted: 20 October 2009 at 1:39pm
I dont really like the new lips. It might look better with a darker purple. I think you should make the nose more like hatch's.
Other than that, its amazing :D
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Manjaman
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Quote Manjaman Replybullet Posted: 20 October 2009 at 2:20pm
Does it look better now (I'm quite ill at ease with that nose, because i like it like that but you don't seem to appreciate it...) ?
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ellie-is
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Quote ellie-is Replybullet Posted: 21 October 2009 at 6:23am
Yeah, looks better. I think the purple lips are better.
I just realized its for the challenge, so you cant make the purple any darker... Sorry bout that.
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RollerKingdom
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Quote RollerKingdom Replybullet Posted: 21 October 2009 at 3:12pm
TBH i think you did a wonderful job with the palette given

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Manupix
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Quote Manupix Replybullet Posted: 21 October 2009 at 4:58pm
I don't really mind the nose, although it might be just a little bit more pointy (1 or 2 px max).
I'm more worried about the bg hair. It's much better than before of course, but there's still something I can't define, that doesn't help the composition. Sorry not to be more specific!
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