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theguy
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Quote theguy Replybullet Topic: a portrait (for a project)
    Posted: 07 August 2007 at 3:17pm
the project is called legend of the soul swordsman, and it's about an ancient tribe of samurai that was originally extinct for generations but a group of teens in tokyo, japan in the year 1998 started learning the ways after finding some rusty books in a sale for a museam that was (this is generally of the top of my head right now, lol) closing down, and it is set about 17 years in the future when they are about 32 years old and have learnt all there is too know and have set up a school (I will also have a domain for this and the rest will play out once I have everything from the sheets of the chars to whole overworld created (it is going to be like an RPG)
 
here is the portrait though:
 
 
15 colors and made in GG


Edited by theguy - 07 August 2007 at 3:18pm
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Christopher
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Quote Christopher Replybullet Posted: 07 August 2007 at 8:47pm
Little edit i made..

Edited by Christopher - 07 August 2007 at 8:58pm
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Hatch
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Quote Hatch Replybullet Posted: 07 August 2007 at 10:42pm
I did an edit as well.

Yours, mine:


Please note that it was rushed and still has proportion and anatomy issues of its own (and yeah, the highlights are wonky).

The main issues that immediately jumped out at me were the size of the ear and the eyes: too big! The lack of eyebrows and the uncomfortable, pushed-back position of the head also bothered me (try pushing your head back on your neck like that and see how it feels).

I also did more shading-in of facial features rather than just forming the shapes with lines. It's a subtle distinction, but it can really make a big difference in how polished your piece looks.
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Metaru
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Quote Metaru Replybullet Posted: 08 August 2007 at 6:31am
so its make-an-edit-for-theguy's Day
 
in despite of hatch edit, i tried to preserve the original feel of the picture, and fixing the already mentioned anatomy problems. messing a abit with the hair(i made a rought selout) and making it less spiky and more consistent(even if its anime... you don't want something like yugioh right?), and also working on those eyes, the nose and of course the neck and shoulders. i tried to make him look more like '32 years old' but that's something you will do with the shading. as hatch said, more shading-in of facial features rather than just forming the shapes with lines.
 
correct me if i'm wrong, but seeing those eyes... did you try to make something similar to Toriyama's style right?
edit:typo


Edited by Metaru - 08 August 2007 at 6:32am
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Hatch
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Quote Hatch Replybullet Posted: 08 August 2007 at 6:48am
Yeah, I didn't bother preserving the style because I feel it's more important for you (theguy) to nail down some artistic fundamentals and the basics of facial anatomy and proportions first*.



*Also because I can't draw anime/manga style to save my life.
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theguy
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Quote theguy Replybullet Posted: 08 August 2007 at 8:29am

the eyes are meant to be like the dragon ball series, anyway these should really help (I kne there was something wrong with the head)

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leel
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Quote leel Replybullet Posted: 08 August 2007 at 4:53pm
they don't look anything like the dragon ball series. As far as I remember they had ridiculously huge eyes, tiny noses and mouths, and very well defined brows.

Edited by leel - 08 August 2007 at 4:53pm
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Metaru
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Quote Metaru Replybullet Posted: 09 August 2007 at 10:39am
indeed. yours looks like a failed fusion between nappa and piccolo triying to use a misplaced wig
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theguy
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Quote theguy Replybullet Posted: 09 August 2007 at 11:23am
 
UPDATE
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Metaru
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Quote Metaru Replybullet Posted: 10 August 2007 at 7:03am
well, you fixed the neck and the shoulders... no, wait, the rigth shoulder is a bit messed(is raising, and the left one is dropping)and there's a misplaced px in the top rigth corner of the neck

the hair thing keeps me... mean, it has to be like that? it really looks like a wig or something... and the back of the head, nd the ear looks really unnatural. his eyes are pointing anywere... like ... one is pointing to the front nd the other is pointing to the top rigth corner. pay ttention to that(i had the same problem in my edit) and well..  you added eyebrows, but the line between the eyes is really unnecesary. the nose can be improved... and the lines of the face needs more definition, specially on the rigth side. a plain curved line doesn't look really ok...

also... you changed his expression dramatically.
.. intentional? will you keep triying the Dragon Ball style?
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Monkey 'o Doom
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Quote Monkey 'o Doom Replybullet Posted: 10 August 2007 at 9:33pm
One thing I think would really help the piece, aside from the already addressed anatomical concerns, is the palette--the background palette would be better with a bit more subtle hue shifting and less stripiness. The green hair highlight is also very out of place, and changing the background would free up some room to work on that.

RPG is numberwang.
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theguy
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Quote theguy Replybullet Posted: 11 August 2007 at 5:06am

for the background there are three different versions (because there are three different paths for the soul swordsman:- power (redish hue), neutral (what he is and yellowish hue), defence (greenish hue) all of which have different powers (neutral can have every power but a weaker version of them), so thats why the pallette is like that on the BG

EDIT: the expression change was intentional, I wanted him to have that personality from the start but couldnt do it oh well I will change the eye and all that other stuff.
 
EDIT2: also anymore details on how the nose can be improved?


Edited by theguy - 11 August 2007 at 5:21am
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Metaru
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Quote Metaru Replybullet Posted: 13 August 2007 at 10:23am
just remove that vertical line and the shadow between the eyes.
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theguy
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Quote theguy Replybullet Posted: 14 August 2007 at 5:56am
done with that I did also edit the background hue shifts
 
 
any better?
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Metaru
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Quote Metaru Replybullet Posted: 14 August 2007 at 7:25am
well... yes, better indeed... but for some reason it doesn't convince me... maybe because the outline or those thick eyebrows?
 
ah, do not forget to fix the shoulder, his left one. and move the head 1 or 2px down. and the ear... well, remember watch hatch said: more shading-in of facial features rather than just forming the shapes with lines.
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theguy
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Quote theguy Replybullet Posted: 14 August 2007 at 12:53pm
ok I did the stuff you said but I raised the ear because I checked and the ear is pretty much at the same level as the eye so d'ya think it looks any better
 
EDIT: small update
 


Edited by theguy - 14 August 2007 at 1:09pm
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theguy
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Quote theguy Replybullet Posted: 16 August 2007 at 4:06am
bump
 
two things
 
a. is there anything else I can do to this or can I submit it?
 
b. I changed the ear back
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