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theguy
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 November 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 417 |
![]() ![]() ![]() Posted: 07 August 2007 at 3:17pm |
the project is called legend of the soul swordsman, and it's about an ancient tribe of samurai that was originally extinct for generations but a group of teens in tokyo, japan in the year 1998 started learning the ways after finding some rusty books in a sale for a museam that was (this is generally of the top of my head right now, lol) closing down, and it is set about 17 years in the future when they are about 32 years old and have learnt all there is too know and have set up a school (I will also have a domain for this and the rest will play out once I have everything from the sheets of the chars to whole overworld created (it is going to be like an RPG)
here is the portrait though:
![]() 15 colors and made in GG Edited by theguy - 07 August 2007 at 3:18pm |
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Christopher
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 09 February 2007 Online Status: Offline Posts: 110 |
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Little edit i made..
Edited by Christopher - 07 August 2007 at 8:58pm |
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Hatch
Admiral ![]() ![]() Joined: 05 August 2015 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1387 |
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I did an edit as well.
Yours, mine: ![]() ![]() Please note that it was rushed and still has proportion and anatomy issues of its own (and yeah, the highlights are wonky). The main issues that immediately jumped out at me were the size of the ear and the eyes: too big! The lack of eyebrows and the uncomfortable, pushed-back position of the head also bothered me (try pushing your head back on your neck like that and see how it feels). I also did more shading-in of facial features rather than just forming the shapes with lines. It's a subtle distinction, but it can really make a big difference in how polished your piece looks. |
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Metaru
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 February 2020 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3305 |
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so its make-an-edit-for-theguy's Day
![]() ![]() in despite of hatch edit, i tried to preserve the original feel of the picture, and fixing the already mentioned anatomy problems. messing a abit with the hair(i made a rought selout) and making it less spiky and more consistent(even if its anime... you don't want something like yugioh right?), and also working on those eyes, the nose and of course the neck and shoulders. i tried to make him look more like '32 years old' but that's something you will do with the shading. as hatch said, more shading-in of facial features rather than just forming the shapes with lines.
correct me if i'm wrong, but seeing those eyes... did you try to make something similar to Toriyama's style right?
edit:typo Edited by Metaru - 08 August 2007 at 6:32am |
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I ate leel's babies
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Hatch
Admiral ![]() ![]() Joined: 05 August 2015 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1387 |
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Yeah, I didn't bother preserving the style because I feel it's more important for you (theguy) to nail down some artistic fundamentals and the basics of facial anatomy and proportions first*.
*Also because I can't draw anime/manga style to save my life. ![]() |
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theguy
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 November 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 417 |
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the eyes are meant to be like the dragon ball series, anyway these should really help (I kne there was something wrong with the head) |
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leel
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 29 June 2005 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3001 |
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they don't look anything like the dragon ball series. As far as I remember they had ridiculously huge eyes, tiny noses and mouths, and very well defined brows.
Edited by leel - 08 August 2007 at 4:53pm |
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Metaru
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 February 2020 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3305 |
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indeed. yours looks like a failed fusion between nappa and piccolo triying to use a misplaced wig
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I ate leel's babies
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theguy
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 November 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 417 |
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![]() UPDATE
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Metaru
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 February 2020 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3305 |
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well, you fixed the neck and the shoulders... no, wait, the rigth shoulder is a bit messed(is raising, and the left one is dropping)and there's a misplaced px in the top rigth corner of the neck
the hair thing keeps me... mean, it has to be like that? it really looks like a wig or something... and the back of the head, nd the ear looks really unnatural. his eyes are pointing anywere... like ![]() also... you changed his expression dramatically. .. intentional? will you keep triying the Dragon Ball style? |
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I ate leel's babies
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Monkey 'o Doom
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 24 September 2005 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2994 |
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One thing I think would really help the piece, aside from the already addressed anatomical concerns, is the palette--the background palette would be better with a bit more subtle hue shifting and less stripiness. The green hair highlight is also very out of place, and changing the background would free up some room to work on that.
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theguy
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 November 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 417 |
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for the background there are three different versions (because there are three different paths for the soul swordsman:- power (redish hue), neutral (what he is and yellowish hue), defence (greenish hue) all of which have different powers (neutral can have every power but a weaker version of them), so thats why the pallette is like that on the BG EDIT: the expression change was intentional, I wanted him to have that personality from the start but couldnt do it oh well I will change the eye and all that other stuff.EDIT2: also anymore details on how the nose can be improved? Edited by theguy - 11 August 2007 at 5:21am |
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Metaru
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 February 2020 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3305 |
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just remove that vertical line and the shadow between the eyes.
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I ate leel's babies
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theguy
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 November 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 417 |
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done with that I did also edit the background hue shifts
![]() any better?
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Metaru
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 February 2020 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3305 |
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well... yes, better indeed... but for some reason it doesn't convince me... maybe because the outline or those thick eyebrows?
ah, do not forget to fix the shoulder, his left one. and move the head 1 or 2px down. and the ear... well, remember watch hatch said: more shading-in of facial features rather than just forming the shapes with lines.
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I ate leel's babies
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theguy
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 November 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 417 |
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ok I did the stuff you said but I raised the ear because I checked and the ear is pretty much at the same level as the eye so d'ya think it looks any better
![]() EDIT: small update
![]() Edited by theguy - 14 August 2007 at 1:09pm |
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theguy
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 03 November 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 417 |
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bump
two things
a. is there anything else I can do to this or can I submit it?
b. I changed the ear back
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