WIP (Work In Progress)
 Pixel Joint Forum : Pixel Art : WIP (Work In Progress)
Message Icon Topic: Love Hurts Post Reply Post New Topic
Author Message
Aastikya
Midshipman
Midshipman
Avatar

Joined: 19 September 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 86
Quote Aastikya Replybullet Topic: Love Hurts
    Posted: 08 December 2011 at 9:50am
From now every of my art will be the thoughts I'll have in my mind. Like a real artist. So here is what I thought and made a random pixel art on it , in like 2 hours. I know this was too much for this weird art. But , help me make it better once again :).



C&C welcome!
IP IP Logged
Friend
Commander
Commander
Avatar

Joined: 01 April 2015
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 710
Quote Friend Replybullet Posted: 08 December 2011 at 10:02am
I find it a bit strange that the person is all black, but the sword is entirely lit.  The extra blue around the crack in the wall should be a faded more grey blue; it shouldn't be a more saturated blue.  I can't tell what the black thing on the right is.  Blood splatter doesn't really make sense if he is being stabbed through the head does it?  This may be by choice, but your colors are pretty cartoony givin the subject. 
IP IP Logged
Aastikya
Midshipman
Midshipman
Avatar

Joined: 19 September 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 86
Quote Aastikya Replybullet Posted: 09 December 2011 at 10:06pm
The person was made all black to show bit of darkness that surrounds him now. And the black thing in right is the girl who left him. Also, just to get a better background I made blood splatter. About other things I agree
IP IP Logged
Partack
Commander
Commander
Avatar

Joined: 20 October 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 260
Quote Partack Replybullet Posted: 10 December 2011 at 2:25pm
I like it.The black silhouette is a faceless figure and could be associated with anyone the viewer desires. slightly abstract, sightly clicheé, but imaginative. i would suggest maybe improving on your sword/dagger a little though.

since the sword is the focus in this picture or, the object of attention, it is what will be looked at almost immediately.

What i always say about swords is 'it could always be a little more interesting' because swords are boring (to me) try to give it some kind of detail or at least a metal ridged or leather grip on the handle.

I think it would be better if it was a dagger. because hearts and daggers seem to go together for some reason..

maybe because you use them to stab hearts..

Play with the sword/dagger a little and don't limit yourself to a 'yeah it looks like a sword. good enough' kind of mind set. =)

as a side note, the silhouette on the right (Which i understood was a female figure) could be improved a little. the hair for instance is little tattered. try to go for a nice hairstyle =)

That being said, since it's abstract, it's not NECESSARY and could be left the way it is. (in fact imperfections are common for abstract art. but don't let this be an excuse. if you meant it to look like a girl, then you must draw it to look like one and not just say its abstract and so it doesn't matter. you know what I mean?)

good job on this though. it shows you listened to criticism and applied your own creativity and imagination =)

Edited by Partack - 10 December 2011 at 2:37pm
IP IP Logged
Aastikya
Midshipman
Midshipman
Avatar

Joined: 19 September 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 86
Quote Aastikya Replybullet Posted: 10 December 2011 at 10:01pm
Update , based on comments of Frost Butt and Partack



IP IP Logged
Partack
Commander
Commander
Avatar

Joined: 20 October 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 260
Quote Partack Replybullet Posted: 11 December 2011 at 4:52am
no,no, no. This kills it for me.

I enjoyed the abstract look and feel to your first one and how it was 'open to ones own perception'. It made people go 'why did she stab him?? did she stab him at all?'
'is this a conveyance of emotion or is it something actually happening in the picture?'

you took the blue away which added a splash of colour to you work. now it's just bland greys and a little red..

the face on the woman now blatantly gives away the feeling of the picture so you've lost your 'abstract' and 'keep the viewer guessing' angle. i don't like it.

the speech bubbles just ruin it for me.


You improved the sword though. (It looks like a sword so i guess you didn't feel like going for the dagger instead which is fine.)

the handle on the sword should probably be a slight bit longer though, using the size of the people as a reference.

you have a dead zone on the top left of your picture. blank areas can be just as distracting as objects and it draws the eye away from the content.

the blood on the wall looks less messy now which disappoints me because before it seemed more chaotic

and the white circle/glow? i .. guess you wanted to add something to keep it interesting? but i don't know if it worked or not. it definitely differentiates the man from the female, making the man seem less 'light' or 'alive' or some other similar conveyance but that's about it.


the girl looks more like a girl now, but what is that thing sticking out of her back underneath the hair? i guess it's her arm?

but her arms would be very short (too short) if that were the case..

i dunno. it's your piece. but i preferred it before the edit.

Edited by Partack - 11 December 2011 at 4:56am
IP IP Logged
TheSouL
Seaman
Seaman


Joined: 25 November 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 18
Quote TheSouL Replybullet Posted: 11 December 2011 at 5:14am
Originally posted by Aastikya

Update , based on comments of Frost Butt and Partack





And why not something like:

IP IP Logged
Aastikya
Midshipman
Midshipman
Avatar

Joined: 19 September 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 86
Quote Aastikya Replybullet Posted: 11 December 2011 at 9:06am
Here is edit again
IP IP Logged
Partack
Commander
Commander
Avatar

Joined: 20 October 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 260
Quote Partack Replybullet Posted: 11 December 2011 at 8:41pm
Much better. I'm so glad you decided to go back to the old look.

the sword is much more proportionate now and i guess you had to elongate the picture just to fit the girl. hat's not a bad thing i guess but maybe it could be a little thinner. not very important though.. perhaps the girl could be brought a little more to the left and maybe even overlap that vine/crack.... thingy...

i don't know what that ...vine.. or crack thingy is next to the girl but i like it whatever it is. it seems to say 'broken' which seems to be a theme for this piece.

the blood to the right of the man looks disturbingly like a paw print.. i kinda liked the way you had it the first time round with lots of blood. now that you've elongated the canvas, there's plenty of blue to spare..


I was wondering about the facestab but never mentioned it because i guessed you wanted it going through the side of the head?   anyway it looks much better going through the front now. (Good edit btw =) )

The girl looks better without that arm thing sticking out of her . her pose also 'seems' to show that she;s kinda mad slightly hinting that she stabbed the guy. but that's open to perception/ which is the good hting about this piece.

On the top of the vine thingy , there's a patch of lighter blue on the top part that kinda bugs me.. it looks like the girl was copy and pasted there and just left there without edits..   try to fill in a little more dark blue inside where the 'leaves' are so it is consistent with the rest of the blue

other than all that...

i don't know what else to say. this piece is very abstract and you could put random fuscia squares on it in weird places and it wouldn't matter to the content.

perhaps that's what this piece needs. another dramatic colour with a geometrical shape or something.

just a thought.

experiment with 'adding one thing to make this piece more interesting' even though it already has points of interest already.

I'd be interested to see what you come up with ^^

Good luck! =)
IP IP Logged
Aastikya
Midshipman
Midshipman
Avatar

Joined: 19 September 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 86
Quote Aastikya Replybullet Posted: 17 December 2011 at 7:14am
There we go...
IP IP Logged
cure
Commander
Commander
Avatar

Joined: 23 March 2022
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2859
Quote cure Replybullet Posted: 17 December 2011 at 3:18pm
the anatomy of the silhouette isn't believable. head is too round, traps and neck aren't defined, upper arms are inexplicably bulky, and the waist is too thin. make sure to use a reference of an actual human body.
IP IP Logged
Aastikya
Midshipman
Midshipman
Avatar

Joined: 19 September 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 86
Quote Aastikya Replybullet Posted: 15 February 2012 at 7:37am
Alright, I fixed the silhouette. Basically remade everything

IP IP Logged
Post Reply Post New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum