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AdamPlays
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Topic: The Birds!
    Posted: 29 January 2008 at 11:53am
Was for the cut scene challenge but went out partying instead of finishing.  The hands aren't done yet... and I'm not sure what I'm going to do for the background.  Maybe add some birds flying around? 
 
This is not a trace. 
 
 
 
 
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Blu
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Quote Blu Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2008 at 12:13pm
That's a bird attacking her, right? If so, I'd add some fluff like in the ref and make the beak a bit pointier.
Move the woman's lips up and arch the shadow that's after her nose.
Err...
 
 
Looks good, though. :)
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AdamPlays
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2008 at 2:03pm
Great advice.  I think it's better now.  Working on a bg...
 
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Blu
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Quote Blu Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2008 at 2:19pm
So..what are you doing for the background?
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AdamPlays
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2008 at 2:24pm
I'm using this scene from the movie as the background.  Probably won't add the children, but maybe more birds. 
 
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AdamPlays
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2008 at 6:28pm
What do you all think?  C & C appreciated!
 
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Blu
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Quote Blu Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2008 at 6:30pm
Oo, looks good but the light-sources don't quite match up.
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AdamPlays
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2008 at 6:47pm

Is this angle better? 

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leel
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Quote leel Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2008 at 6:57pm
The nose is insanely blurred/overaaed/pillowshaded - take your pick.

Also take a closer look at the lips.  You're not following the reference at all there.   Also there should be more shadow around her temple.


And her face looks really flat - the contour on the left is basically a straight line,  the key in creating femininity is a gentle curve


Edited by leel - 29 January 2008 at 6:59pm
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Metaru
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Quote Metaru Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2008 at 7:36pm
and, no ofense obiusly, but that strange structure in the bottom-middle zone of the image looks like her... nipple?

a very square-ish one.
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AdamPlays
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Posted: 30 January 2008 at 3:01pm
I took all of you advice and made the appropriate changes.  I'm still tinkering with it, but are there any other blaring issues I need to fix?
 
Thanks for your crits!
 
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Metaru
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Quote Metaru Replybullet Posted: 30 January 2008 at 4:55pm
just try to stay the closest posiblke to the reference in order to achive the goal.

but don't trace ok?
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leel
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Quote leel Replybullet Posted: 30 January 2008 at 5:17pm
alien eyes
alien lips


Look closer at the reference shapes.  MUCH closer.
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Blu
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Quote Blu Replybullet Posted: 30 January 2008 at 5:40pm
Make her lips curve more. But make sure they follow her face!!
 
 
Oh, and the shadows are much better.
 
Sorry, I'm really kind of failing at citique.


Edited by BluWriter - 30 January 2008 at 5:41pm
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AdamPlays
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Posted: 30 January 2008 at 10:48pm

Well I zoomed in on the reference and tried to replicate it as best I could.  The eye on the right still doesnt look quite right but I'm not sure what to do...  I think it looks a lot better but I'm sure I can do more.  Let me know!

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Quote xeroxz2k7 Replybullet Posted: 31 January 2008 at 7:06am
I say that the lips should still be rotated a bit to the right.
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Quote Serendor Replybullet Posted: 31 January 2008 at 8:59am
Like the concept... but your background kind of ruin it. The black shadow of the crow shouldn't be there since it is no wall to display it on any more, if you see my point?
Now it looks like a shadow of a giant bird, stretching over the background...

background is nice, woman + bird shadow is nice, but they don't quite match for me : /

Good luck anyway!

//Albin
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AdamPlays
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Posted: 31 January 2008 at 9:58am
Hmm, that's an interesting observation.  It's not supposed to be a shadow, but a bird in the foreground.  You can tell in the reference because the tip of the beak wouldn't cast that particular shadow.  Because of the direction of light, all you can see is it's silhouette.  Maybe I should add some detail to the bird... implications of feathers and an eye or whatnot? 
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Quote Serendor Replybullet Posted: 31 January 2008 at 11:16am
yes, saw that in the reference, cover the hands... thought it was the shadow... then probably some texture on the bird as you said would be suitable for those like me^^;

Good luck!

//Albin
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Blu
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Quote Blu Replybullet Posted: 31 January 2008 at 6:15pm
Oh! Put your hand up to a light in a dark room. See how your hand isn't a perfectly black silhouette? :D
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Kee
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Quote Kee Replybullet Posted: 01 February 2008 at 11:18am

i love the angles that you drew the birds in the bg. it makes the feel of a real picture great job on the expression also

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AdamPlays
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Posted: 30 March 2008 at 10:33pm
Fixed the eye and nose and smoothed out some lines.. The hair is starting to jump out at me now, i'll probably start fixing that too. 
 
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Quote AdamPlays Replybullet Posted: 02 April 2008 at 11:29am
Submitted!  Thanks for everyone's help!!
 
 
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