Quotes posted by sedgemonkey

The ratio of people to cake is too big.

Milton Waddams, Office Space (1999)
Peter Gibbons: Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?

Joanna: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.

Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

Peter Gibbons/Joanna, Office Space (1999)
Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe I lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here!'

Dave Chappelle, Unknown Source
We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
We must never be afraid to go too far, for truth lies beyond.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
Time passes, and little by little everything that we have spoken in falsehood becomes true.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
We do not succeed in changing things according to our desire, but gradually our desire changes.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
The bonds that unite another person to our self exist only in our mind.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last.

Marcel Proust, Unknown Source
We want the facts to fit the preconceptions. When they don't it is easier to ignore the facts than to change the preconceptions.

Jessamyn West, Unknown Source
The past is really almost as much a work of the imagination as the future.

Jessamyn West, Unknown Source
Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures.

Jessamyn West, Unknown Source
A rattlesnake that doesn't bite teaches you nothing.

Jessamyn West, Unknown Source
Treat a man as he appears to be, and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Unknown Source
To be pleased with one's limits is a wretched state.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Unknown Source
Nothing is worth more than this day.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Unknown Source
Whatever you can do or dream, begin it.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Unknown Source
Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Unknown Source
Nothing is worse than active ignorance.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Unknown Source
A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Unknown Source
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

Ambrose Bierce, Unknown Source
Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.

Ambrose Bierce, Unknown Source
An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, Unknown Source
A man is known by the company he organizes.

Ambrose Bierce, Unknown Source
There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.

Tom Krause, Unknown Source
One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

Kurt Vonnegut, Unknown Source
Frank Abagnale Jr.: [as Frank Conners] Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this is irrefutable evidence that the defendant is, in fact, lying.

Judge: Mr. Conners, this is a preliminary hearing. There is no... defendant. There is no... jury. It's just me. Son... what in the HELL is wrong with you?

Frank Abagnale Jr., Catch Me If You Can
Carl Hanratty: Well, would you like to hear me tell a joke?

Earl Amdursky: Yeah. Yeah, we'd love to hear a joke from you.

Carl Hanratty: Knock knock.

Earl Amdursky: Who's there?

Carl Hanratty: Go fuck yourselves.

Carl Hanratty, Catch Me If You Can
Del: You play with your balls a lot.

Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.

Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!

Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?

Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.

Neal: You know what'd make me happy?

Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?

Del/Neal, Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Neal: He says we're going the wrong way...

Del: Oh, he's drunk. How would he know where we're going?

Neal/Del, Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Del: Was that seat hot or what? I feel like a Whopper. Turn me over, I'm done and ready. I'm afraid to look at my ass. There'll be grill marks.

Del, Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Bilbo: I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin... sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don't expect I shall return. In fact I mean not to.

Bilbo/Bilbo, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
The Bride: [on Pai Mei] Why did he accept me?

Bill: Because he's a very, very, very old man. And like all rotten bastards, when they get old, they become lonely. Not that that has any effect on their disposition. But they do learn the value of company.

The Bride/Bill, Kill Bill 2 (2004)
Bill: An essential characteristic of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero, and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When he wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic that Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses, the business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race. Sort of like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plympton.

Bill, Kill Bill 2 (2004)
Lieutenant Traxler: I can hear it now. He's going to be called the god-damned phonebook killer.

Lieutenant Traxler:, The Terminator (1984)
The Terminator: I'm a friend of Sarah Connor. I was told she was here. Could I see her please?

Desk Sergeant: No, you can't see her. She's making a statement.

The Terminator: Where is she?

Desk Sergeant: It may take a while. Want to wait? There's a bench over there.

The Terminator: I'll be back.

The Terminator, The Terminator (1984)
Garry: My god, what was happening to him?

MacReady: If it had more time to finish it would have looked and sounded and acted just like Bennings!

Garry/MacReady, The Thing (1982)
Childs: I just cannot believe any of this voodoo bullshit.

Palmer: Childs, it happens all the time, man. They're falling out of the sky like flies. Government knows all about it, right, Mac?

Childs: You believe any of this voodoo bullshit, Blair?

Palmer: Childs, Childs... Chariots of the Gods, man. They practically own South America. I mean, they taught the Incas everything they know.

Childs/Palmer, The Thing (1982)
Garry: You reach anybody, yet?

Windows: Reach anybody? We're a thousand miles from nowhere, man. And it's gonna get a hell of a lot worse before it gets any better!

Garry/Windows, The Thing (1982)
Childs: You're gonna have to sleep sometime, MacReady.

MacReady: I'm a real light sleeper, Childs.

Childs/MacReady, The Thing (1982)
Ripley: These people are here to protect you. They're soldiers.

Newt: It won't make any difference.

Ripley/Newt, Aliens
Kip Ramsey: White boys get all the Oscars. It's a fact.

Agent: We know that, but--

Kip Ramsey: Did I get a nomination? No. 'Cause I ain't played none
of them slave roles. That's when you get nominated. Black dude plays a slave role, gets nominated. White boy plays an idiot, gets the Oscar. Find me a script as a retarded slave,
then I get the Oscar.

Agent: I'm gonna schmooze. I'll be right back.

Kip Ramsey: Go find that script. Buck, the Wonder Slave.

Kip Ramsey, Bowfinger (1999)
Robert K. Bowfinger: We're finished! It's over between us!

Daisy: But why?

Robert K. Bowfinger: You slept with Jiff.

Daisy: So?

Robert K. Bowfinger: You know, I never thought about it that way.

Daisy: So I'll see you tonight?

Robert K. Bowfinger: What time?

Robert K. Bowfinger/Daisy, Bowfinger (1999)
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

Steve Martin, Unknown Source
Frito: Yah I know this place pretty good, I went to law school here.

Pvt. Joe Bowers: In Costco?

Frito: Yah I couldn't believe it myself. Luckily my dad was an alumnus and pulled some strings.

Pvt. Joe Bowers/Frito, Idiocracy (2006)

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