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Let the pixel art on this site inspire you, not scare you away! You're not going to get any better by running off to some 'lesser quality' site to submit 10-minute pixel pieces. You have made the first correct step by submitting your WIP here for critique. Now all you have to do is to accept the critique given and improve your art. Keep doing that and it will be YOUR art that new people are saying is out of THEIR league! ;)
The building seems structurally sound, you just might want to add more details, like a brick pattern, larger windows with objects inside, roof items, etc.
The cheese is ok, but you might want to ditch the black outline. Go with a desaturated and darker yellow for that. And don't forget shading. ;)
The markers are pillow shaded. You can probably get away with it somewhat in this case because they are cylindrical in shape and a light source on top might produce a similar result, but there are still slight nuances you want to add in that situation. More detail to the shaft would be good, like a few lines for the different portions of the shaft, a label, extra highlights on the highest parts of the shaft, etc. One thing you absolutely have to do though is fix the lighting on the felt tips. They should be lighter on the inside and darker outside to match the shaft.
DONT LEAVE, KEEP AT IT! :D
------------- http://www.ongamedev.com/ - OnGameDev
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