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Edited by philippejugnet - 20 June 2012 at 9:36am

Not bad, but their is noone at the boat, maybe explain it a bit. And it looks a bit odd to me that the waves on the left and right are pretty even in hight. Study some fine art pieces like Hokusais Wave.

Hope it makes more sense :P

Body, especially torso, seems too short for the head. Is this Moses?

I think the effect would be more spectacular if Moses was a lot tinier, like this :



Other than that, the waves look great!

Edited by eclep - 14 June 2012 at 2:35pm

Edited by philippejugnet - 14 June 2012 at 5:17pm

Okay =)

Yeah those clouds always look the same in your stuff too.. so changing it up a bit would be more interesting.
I'm glad to see Moses depicted though.. Exodus was pretty interesting to read.

I get the feeling from A3um's clarifications that you simply don't think your pieces from the ground up like you need to, since you haven't really developed natural skill in developing a solid foundation from your pieces, which is apparent from how drastically your pieces change from the help of others. 

Slightly tangential criticism, but I think you should take a break from this mood/tone and go for something completely different.  Different lightsource, different composition and perspective, different style, basically go for something completely different. 

And the next piece you work on, use references first, and don't even think about detail and colors until everything from the perspective, to the composition, and the overall artistry has a rock solid foundation.  You need to think it through and be inspired.  You get so much criticism simply because you just aren't planning out your pieces of work or putting enough of your creative spirit into it. 

Lucas's message was right, the fundamentally weak aspects of your piece are just dressed up with pretty pixeling, which doesn't really create an ugly image, per se, but a very boring one to look at, and one with no real depth. 

It is like Ben Franklin's quote about doing the same thing and expecting different results.  You need sorely need a new approach.  You're an artist, you need to think like one =)

Not posting any text almost gives the illusion you have something to say, and that the image speaks for itself.

It doesn't.

Reading this might help you with your reference to Moses: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2013:17-14:29;&version=ESV;
Saying that this is Moses because it's a hooded dude casting a sea apart is a bit weak. You're leaving out a lot of details from the original scene. Besides, Moses wasn't an archmage.
I think it's best avoiding these kind of references because you can easily get shot down unless it's well founded.

a3um wasn't necessarily criticizing the piece, he was just trying to see if you knew the answers to those questions. You personally have to know what it is you want to depict and why if you want to communicate effectively to the viewer. If you jump in and start creating a piece of art without sufficient planning or forethought then it will usually be obvious in the final work.


Edited by cure - 17 June 2012 at 9:38pm

cure has got it right. I didn't mean to criticize, I was just wondering if the piece has some kind of a story behind it and you know exactly what's going on. Because it's much easier to help you this way

P.S. If this "emotional thing" you mentioned means "I just want to throw in some pretty textures and effects" then it's sad. Also, I've never seen any "idiot comments" on your pieces - you just tend to overreact IMO.

I actually really like how you titled it personally.. he was an Egyptian high priest.. Then he became a murderer, fled, dwelled in the east and made contact with another diety unlike the Egyptian ones. He then went to Egypt while his god simply showed off his power to the Pharaoh. IMO It was all about that since Moses had to convince this short tempered god not to kill all the Hebrews after they crossed the sea. YHWH just wanted to show off; he contradicts himself in so many ways in that chapter alone it's ridiculous. Remember how he got mad about the golden calf? Later in the chapter he has the Hebrews venerate a serpent idol.. wtf? I could go on and on about some of the odd things in that story. Another really profound one was when YHWH came to him as a spirit in the night to kill him (either Moses or his son; it really did not clarify).. but he then circumsized his son Gershom to ward of the night spirit. I didn't get that part; never figured out what that meant. If YHWH intended to kill Moses then wtf; if he intended to kill his son then also wtf?

Really bad edit (just copy, paste and resize) to maybe depict him as being on a tall peninsula. Hopefully that eliminates the mystique of him being randomly in the ocean. Also gives you a reason to do big waves ;P

Maybe just showing off his skill, hahah! Perhaps on the edge of a beack/costline splitting the sea?

[edit] Perhaps i've been watching too much Avatar... [edit]


Edited by imnumberfour - 19 June 2012 at 2:06pm

Color + some insignificant update:

thanks ||||

Ah, now he's not just randomly in the ocean, huzzahr! As far as composition crits go, I can't help much, I suck at composition. I think the whole composition looks good now and i'd like to see refinements start. But again, i'm not good in the way of composition.

If possible, fish shadows/sillouettes in the sea, just to add a tiny bit of realism?

'Realism' in art can refer to rendering, and not just content. Compare Dali's work to that of fellow surrealist Joan Miro, note the existence of 'magic realism', etc.

Remember to include critique in your comments, otherwise there's the off- topic forum.

Thanks, I think I will add a pillar ^^.


offtopic:
Religion is just like culture, if you were born in India you'd probably woudnt be christian. Every religion is 100% sure that's correct. Well, I am atheist heh, but I respect people's oppinion, even tough my family is christian I am atheist. I think people should go for their own tougths instead of just believing in what other say.

WAY MORE OFFTOPIC:

Just something to think about:
99.9999% of the religions say that god created the world, and god loved humans, and it's creation, bla bla bla..

Why someone with such a power to create THE UNIVERSE would care to HUMANS? ... Well, why would he create the universe? Why would he care to us? Life is a mistery =D. I don't mean to offend anybody, I am just sharing my toughts.

Edited by philippejugnet - 23 June 2012 at 11:58am

Haha, why would somebody gifted with a physical body care about pixels in a virtual reality? Why does love seem like a proper answer here?


You are a great person for respecting other peoples opinions. There is a few things you can do with opinions. Either you can listen to other people and blindly keep holding to your own or you can listen to other people and blindly follow theirs.

Two examples:





I think you are doing both of those too easily. In my opinion the proper way to grow is to challenge your own opinions, instead of just copying and pasting whatever you like in other people.

For example, when someone makes a suggestion to make Moses 5 times tinier ask yourself the question: Why did I decide to make Moses this big?

If you just try out, figure that it looks better and then follow the advice you have hardly learned a thing. You become a nice reproducing art robot, and that will impress many people.
But don't you agree that it would be much cooler to be able to make great choices yourself?

At first it would allow you to plan a work properly.. I can not remember a single piece of which I have seen the WIPs where the final artwork looked even close to how you started.
Yes, good that you are willing to change, but after so much input from outside you should now be prepared a little better when you start right?

Challenge opinions, and let them be challenged by others. If you just recreate the things that work for others you will never have complete understanding of the process behind it.



I was born an atheist but over time I have challenged my own opinions about religion very often. This way I feel like I now know why I also want to be/stay an atheist, and I can defend myself properly if anyone questions me. Also I can educate other people in my beliefs and I can challenge theirs.
Just like I am here challenging you about your thought 'that people should go for their own thoughts instead of just believing in what others say.'
The full conversation is not meant to be hold typing over the internet, but I can always try and answer your questions. Getting everyone's mind open and (self)conscious, that is my goal.

Sorry for starting the off topic comment earlier.  Here is something a little more productive.  I saw these illustrations by Nicolas Delort, specifically the one below, and thought about your piece.  What I would suggest is trying to show the energy the water would be producing by the seperation.  In the illustration, light color is used at the starting point of wave explosion.  I think your piece could do something similar by using the light blue highlight color around the rock somehow.  Does that make any sense?