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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Topic: Moses, the ArchmagePosted: 13 June 2012 at 7:20pm |
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To date: ![]() ________________________________________
Edited by philippejugnet - 20 June 2012 at 9:36am |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 6:51am |
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Update:
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Trick17
Commander
Joined: 07 April 2021 Online Status: Offline Posts: 120 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 7:18am |
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Not bad, but their is noone at the boat, maybe explain it a bit. And it looks a bit odd to me that the waves on the left and right are pretty even in hight. Study some fine art pieces like Hokusais Wave.
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 8:19am |
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I am fan of that piece. It is pretty famous! humm, I will remove the boat and add that little bible story. or a flying boat, so that will explain the bends on the water.
Edited by philippejugnet - 14 June 2012 at 8:21am |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 10:49am |
![]() Hope it makes more sense :P |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 11:22am |
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cure
Commander
Joined: 23 March 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2859 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 2:14pm |
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Body, especially torso, seems too short for the head. Is this Moses?
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 2:20pm |
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Yeah, here, update.
![]() better? thanks! |
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eclep
Seaman
Joined: 15 January 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 25 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 2:35pm |
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I think the effect would be more spectacular if Moses was a lot tinier, like this :
Other than that, the waves look great! Edited by eclep - 14 June 2012 at 2:35pm |
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Trick17
Commander
Joined: 07 April 2021 Online Status: Offline Posts: 120 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 2:45pm |
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That's true. And I don't think it's a good idea to cut off the torch.
Besides the water in front of the rock doesn't looks like its floating to the side. |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 4:55pm |
![]() Edited by philippejugnet - 14 June 2012 at 5:17pm |
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eclep
Seaman
Joined: 15 January 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 25 |
![]() Posted: 14 June 2012 at 5:25pm |
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Yes, now it really looks like he is parting the see!
I'm really looking forward to seeing this finished. |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 15 June 2012 at 3:45pm |
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Okay =)
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AngelOTG
Commander
Joined: 28 February 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 258 |
![]() Posted: 15 June 2012 at 6:58pm |
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Again your composition is suffering. You're trying to emphasize too many things rather than have one focus point and having everything else bring attention to that. I'm just going to assume the sprite to be the most important thing and work with that.
1. Your waves are breaking perspective. We're looking down at the sprite/land mass, and it seems like we're looking up at the waves. Also, the way they're framing the piece is aesthetically unappealing. You can use the waves to pull attention in towards the sprite by lowering the crests and making them extend further behind the sprite. 2. Your clouds are really ominous, but this piece shouldn't be ominous. The character is using the power of God to do this, right? So wouldn't it be at least a little bit... brighter? The palette and how you have arranged them scream dark/evil magic. They also look very unnatural and evil. I can't adjust the palette because I'm on a laptop without any good programs for that. (Just MS Paint, not the best for palettes :p) So I did what I could, which is to bring some light down. I'd say you could even go further and make a beacon of light shine down on the character.
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Commander
Joined: 31 May 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 202 |
![]() Posted: 15 June 2012 at 10:56pm |
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Yeah those clouds always look the same in your stuff too.. so changing it up a bit would be more interesting.
I'm glad to see Moses depicted though.. Exodus was pretty interesting to read. |
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a3um
Commander
Joined: 25 June 2022 Location: Russian Federation Online Status: Offline Posts: 244 |
![]() Posted: 15 June 2012 at 11:21pm |
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I have a couple of questions to clarify the whole concept. What's he doing on that rock in the middle of the sea? What's behind him? Also, where does this cyan highlight came from?
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Friend
Commander
Joined: 01 April 2015 Online Status: Offline Posts: 710 |
![]() Posted: 16 June 2012 at 4:19pm |
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I get the feeling from A3um's clarifications that you simply don't think your pieces from the ground up like you need to, since you haven't really developed natural skill in developing a solid foundation from your pieces, which is apparent from how drastically your pieces change from the help of others.
Slightly tangential criticism, but I think you should take a break from this mood/tone and go for something completely different. Different lightsource, different composition and perspective, different style, basically go for something completely different. And the next piece you work on, use references first, and don't even think about detail and colors until everything from the perspective, to the composition, and the overall artistry has a rock solid foundation. You need to think it through and be inspired. You get so much criticism simply because you just aren't planning out your pieces of work or putting enough of your creative spirit into it. Lucas's message was right, the fundamentally weak aspects of your piece are just dressed up with pretty pixeling, which doesn't really create an ugly image, per se, but a very boring one to look at, and one with no real depth. It is like Ben Franklin's quote about doing the same thing and expecting different results. You need sorely need a new approach. You're an artist, you need to think like one =) |
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Elk
Commander
Joined: 12 May 2024 Online Status: Offline Posts: 483 |
![]() Posted: 16 June 2012 at 8:25pm |
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Originally posted by a3um
I have a couple of questions to clarify the whole concept. What's he doing on that rock in the middle of the sea? What's behind him? Also, where does this cyan highlight came from? Edited by Elk - 16 June 2012 at 8:27pm |
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cure
Commander
Joined: 23 March 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2859 |
![]() Posted: 16 June 2012 at 8:31pm |
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Not posting any text almost gives the illusion you have something to say, and that the image speaks for itself.
It doesn't. |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 17 June 2012 at 4:54pm |
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Originally posted by a3um I have a couple of questions to clarify the whole concept. What's he doing on that rock in the middle of the sea? What's behind him? Also, where does this cyan highlight came from? Why can't he be training to his future task? I can't undertand why you guys can't see my pieces as an emotional thing instead of this "clear water" concept. |
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Christoballs
Rear Admiral
Joined: 31 January 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 182 |
![]() Posted: 17 June 2012 at 5:17pm |
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Reading this might help you with your reference to Moses: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2013:17-14:29;&version=ESV;
Saying that this is Moses because it's a hooded dude casting a sea apart is a bit weak. You're leaving out a lot of details from the original scene. Besides, Moses wasn't an archmage. I think it's best avoiding these kind of references because you can easily get shot down unless it's well founded. |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 17 June 2012 at 5:28pm |
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I know he wasn't I was just trying to re-interpret the concept.But thanks, some people will just try to do those idiot comments.
Edited by philippejugnet - 17 June 2012 at 5:28pm |
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cure
Commander
Joined: 23 March 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2859 |
![]() Posted: 17 June 2012 at 6:52pm |
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a3um wasn't necessarily criticizing the piece, he was just trying to see if you knew the answers to those questions. You personally have to know what it is you want to depict and why if you want to communicate effectively to the viewer. If you jump in and start creating a piece of art without sufficient planning or forethought then it will usually be obvious in the final work.
Edited by cure - 17 June 2012 at 9:38pm |
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AngelOTG
Commander
Joined: 28 February 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 258 |
![]() Posted: 17 June 2012 at 10:17pm |
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You don't understand, philippe. We are not being rude when we criticize your piece. You have a lot of natural talent but don't have a basic understanding of fundamental art concepts. Color theory, focal point, characterization, etc. This is because you're young, but we want you to learn these things. It's why people critique.
So when we critique one of your pieces, it may be harsh but only because we're trying to reinforce an idea. Every time you post a WIP thread, everyone mentions concept, how your piece looks disjointed, lack of cohesion, etc. It's not because we're assholes, but because this is what is holding back your work most severely and we want you to overcome it. |
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a3um
Commander
Joined: 25 June 2022 Location: Russian Federation Online Status: Offline Posts: 244 |
![]() Posted: 18 June 2012 at 5:25am |
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cure has got it right. I didn't mean to criticize, I was just wondering if the piece has some kind of a story behind it and you know exactly what's going on. Because it's much easier to help you this way
P.S. If this "emotional thing" you mentioned means "I just want to throw in some pretty textures and effects" then it's sad. Also, I've never seen any "idiot comments" on your pieces - you just tend to overreact IMO. |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 18 June 2012 at 7:23am |
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thanks, I am just in a damn bad moob those days. The idiot comments didn't happend yet, I am saying they will if I had posted "reinterpreting moses, the archmage" they will say "but in the bible wasn't like that" that's what I mean, I didn't said you comments were idiot.
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Commander
Joined: 31 May 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 202 |
![]() Posted: 18 June 2012 at 3:30pm |
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I actually really like how you titled it personally.. he was an Egyptian high priest.. Then he became a murderer, fled, dwelled in the east and made contact with another diety unlike the Egyptian ones. He then went to Egypt while his god simply showed off his power to the Pharaoh. IMO It was all about that since Moses had to convince this short tempered god not to kill all the Hebrews after they crossed the sea. YHWH just wanted to show off; he contradicts himself in so many ways in that chapter alone it's ridiculous. Remember how he got mad about the golden calf? Later in the chapter he has the Hebrews venerate a serpent idol.. wtf? I could go on and on about some of the odd things in that story. Another really profound one was when YHWH came to him as a spirit in the night to kill him (either Moses or his son; it really did not clarify).. but he then circumsized his son Gershom to ward of the night spirit. I didn't get that part; never figured out what that meant. If YHWH intended to kill Moses then wtf; if he intended to kill his son then also wtf?
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cure
Commander
Joined: 23 March 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2859 |
![]() Posted: 18 June 2012 at 6:42pm |
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He was an en Egyptian noble, adopted son of the pharoh's daughter, not a priest. The serpent wasn't really worshipped until the monarchical period, and then its worship was denounced and the idol was destroyed. During the wilderness years it was important because YHWH worked through the serpent, it didn't have power of its own (according to the text anyway; Nehushtan may actually indicate the previous existence of a snake cult or snake god). I do agree that there are lots of conflicting ideas in the OT though, probably due to origins in Caananite polytheism.
These posts are really off topic though... I think if you want to evoke Moses, you should use more elements from the Exodus narrative (Hebrew exiles, Egyptian warriors, his characteristic staff, clothing from that period and culture, etc). Otherwise I would drop the Moses thing entirely and just make it a fantasy scene. And like others, I do wonder why and how he's stranded in the middle of the sea. Edited by cure - 18 June 2012 at 9:27pm |
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imnumberfour
Midshipman
Joined: 24 June 2021 Online Status: Offline Posts: 63 |
![]() Posted: 19 June 2012 at 12:38pm |
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Really bad edit (just copy, paste and resize) to maybe depict him as being on a tall peninsula. Hopefully that eliminates the mystique of him being randomly in the ocean. Also gives you a reason to do big waves ;P
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 19 June 2012 at 1:30pm |
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there is no reason to part the sea if he is above it, but thanks I will think about it.
btw, thanks |||| and cure! Edited by philippejugnet - 19 June 2012 at 2:25pm |
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imnumberfour
Midshipman
Joined: 24 June 2021 Online Status: Offline Posts: 63 |
![]() Posted: 19 June 2012 at 1:36pm |
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Maybe just showing off his skill, hahah! Perhaps on the edge of a beack/costline splitting the sea?
[edit] Perhaps i've been watching too much Avatar... [edit] Edited by imnumberfour - 19 June 2012 at 2:06pm |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 19 June 2012 at 1:49pm |
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I am seriously thinking on changing the perspective...
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 19 June 2012 at 2:17pm |
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Commander
Joined: 31 May 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 202 |
![]() Posted: 19 June 2012 at 2:48pm |
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I am liking the colors in the water more now.
About the biblical rant above.. pardon that. I was wrong; but he may have dabbled in magic as a prince/ elite in Egypt, a magic/ ritualistically centered culture... There I go spouting off tainted religious propaganda again. I'll just stick to the visual topic now Cure :p |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 19 June 2012 at 7:30pm |
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Color + some insignificant update:
![]() thanks |||| |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 20 June 2012 at 9:36am |
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I hope this way it looks better:
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imnumberfour
Midshipman
Joined: 24 June 2021 Online Status: Offline Posts: 63 |
![]() Posted: 20 June 2012 at 10:12am |
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Ah, now he's not just randomly in the ocean, huzzahr! As far as composition crits go, I can't help much, I suck at composition. I think the whole composition looks good now and i'd like to see refinements start. But again, i'm not good in the way of composition.
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 20 June 2012 at 1:21pm |
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He is opening the gate to the rest of the poeple =) I will add torches in the back ^^
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imnumberfour
Midshipman
Joined: 24 June 2021 Online Status: Offline Posts: 63 |
![]() Posted: 20 June 2012 at 1:26pm |
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If possible, fish shadows/sillouettes in the sea, just to add a tiny bit of realism?
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shampoop
Commander
Joined: 12 January 2015 Online Status: Offline Posts: 202 |
![]() Posted: 20 June 2012 at 2:01pm |
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realism? This looks like fantasy to me xD. Might as well have a cow swimming around in there.
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cure
Commander
Joined: 23 March 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2859 |
![]() Posted: 20 June 2012 at 4:28pm |
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'Realism' in art can refer to rendering, and not just content. Compare Dali's work to that of fellow surrealist Joan Miro, note the existence of 'magic realism', etc.
Remember to include critique in your comments, otherwise there's the off- topic forum. |
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H|F
Commander
Joined: 14 March 2020 Online Status: Offline Posts: 363 |
![]() Posted: 22 June 2012 at 10:54pm |
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You could add a pillar of fire behind him blocking the Egyptians to add more to it?
Also, "At Yahweh's command Moses holds his staff out over the water, and throughout the night a strong east wind divides the sea" wind is what opens the sea so maybe think of how the water would have changed the way it looks?
Other then those things that are imo I think it is looking good and I think the colors are nice.
this is imo as well... why is he alone?
*off topic,
If the wind was strong enough to part the sea.... how could those people have survived? lol Edited by H|F - 22 June 2012 at 10:55pm |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 23 June 2012 at 11:58am |
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Thanks, I think I will add a pillar ^^.
offtopic: Religion is just like culture, if you were born in India you'd probably woudnt be christian. Every religion is 100% sure that's correct. Well, I am atheist heh, but I respect people's oppinion, even tough my family is christian I am atheist. I think people should go for their own tougths instead of just believing in what other say. WAY MORE OFFTOPIC: Just something to think about: 99.9999% of the religions say that god created the world, and god loved humans, and it's creation, bla bla bla.. Why someone with such a power to create THE UNIVERSE would care to HUMANS? ... Well, why would he create the universe? Why would he care to us? Life is a mistery =D. I don't mean to offend anybody, I am just sharing my toughts. Edited by philippejugnet - 23 June 2012 at 11:58am |
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H|F
Commander
Joined: 14 March 2020 Online Status: Offline Posts: 363 |
![]() Posted: 24 June 2012 at 12:26am |
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Offtopic.....
I guess it's the same as a home you make and if you make children how you would love them :/ idk lol |
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Hapiel
Rear Admiral
Joined: 30 June 2023 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3266 |
![]() Posted: 24 June 2012 at 9:07am |
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Originally posted by philippejugnet Why someone with such a power to create THE UNIVERSE would care to HUMANS? ... Well, why would he create the universe? Why would he care to us? Life is a mistery =D. I don't mean to offend anybody, I am just sharing my toughts. Haha, why would somebody gifted with a physical body care about pixels in a virtual reality? Why does love seem like a proper answer here? You are a great person for respecting other peoples opinions. There is a few things you can do with opinions. Either you can listen to other people and blindly keep holding to your own or you can listen to other people and blindly follow theirs. Two examples: Yeah those clouds always look the same in your stuff too.. so changing it up a bit would be more interesting. Nah, I'll leave them like this I think the effect would be more spectacular if Moses was a lot tinier, like this : Oh, I agree ![]() I think you are doing both of those too easily. In my opinion the proper way to grow is to challenge your own opinions, instead of just copying and pasting whatever you like in other people. For example, when someone makes a suggestion to make Moses 5 times tinier ask yourself the question: Why did I decide to make Moses this big? If you just try out, figure that it looks better and then follow the advice you have hardly learned a thing. You become a nice reproducing art robot, and that will impress many people. But don't you agree that it would be much cooler to be able to make great choices yourself? At first it would allow you to plan a work properly.. I can not remember a single piece of which I have seen the WIPs where the final artwork looked even close to how you started. Yes, good that you are willing to change, but after so much input from outside you should now be prepared a little better when you start right? Challenge opinions, and let them be challenged by others. If you just recreate the things that work for others you will never have complete understanding of the process behind it. I was born an atheist but over time I have challenged my own opinions about religion very often. This way I feel like I now know why I also want to be/stay an atheist, and I can defend myself properly if anyone questions me. Also I can educate other people in my beliefs and I can challenge theirs. Just like I am here challenging you about your thought 'that people should go for their own thoughts instead of just believing in what others say.' The full conversation is not meant to be hold typing over the internet, but I can always try and answer your questions. Getting everyone's mind open and (self)conscious, that is my goal. |
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 24 June 2012 at 9:55am |
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Thanks Hapiel.
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shampoop
Commander
Joined: 12 January 2015 Online Status: Offline Posts: 202 |
![]() Posted: 26 June 2012 at 9:17am |
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Sorry for starting the off topic comment earlier. Here is something a little more productive. I saw these illustrations by Nicolas Delort, specifically the one below, and thought about your piece. What I would suggest is trying to show the energy the water would be producing by the seperation. In the illustration, light color is used at the starting point of wave explosion. I think your piece could do something similar by using the light blue highlight color around the rock somehow. Does that make any sense?
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philippejugnet
Commander
Joined: 21 April 2022 Online Status: Offline Posts: 459 |
![]() Posted: 26 June 2012 at 1:10pm |
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Thankyou shampoop =D
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