well.. I'm not sure if this really belongs here, but I figure I'll give it a shot.

so... I've got a friend who's in trouble. Today I took over some spare food to her house that I had because she and her mom don't have any jobs and they don't have any money for food.

Now, this I can understand. I've been in this situation before. But I never really knew about it because my mother made an effort to hide our true financial situation from me. Which, I don't regret. Having to worry if your family has money for dinner can really weigh on you, especially if you already have to worry about papers and assignments.

We brought over some stuff we had in the cabinets that we weren't going to eat. And then we also went to Henrys and bought some vegetables, milk, and some chicken too (we being my mom and I).

My friend in particular has dropped out of high school. I saw it coming, but she wouldn't listen to me. She has an apathy in life. She's not dumb. She knows when the situation around her is bad, but she doesn't have the work ethic or motivation to DO anything about it. She moved out of her nice grandmothers house (which had plenty of food and a two big screen TVs mind you) with her mom. Her mom couldn't raise her as a child and now I see why. Her mom has the same lack of motivation in life. Because of that she's quit countless jobs just because she didn't like them. Granted, she is bipolar. But my mother was bipolar, depressed, obsessive compulsive, and had borderline personality disorder and still managed to make sure I had food to eat and clothes on my back.

I've tried all I can to encourage my friend to go to job corps. I want what's best for her. Job Corps is an awesome government program for people age 16-24 who can't pull themselves up. You go there, they pay you to go there, they give you a place to stay, they train you for a job that you can do, and when you're done, they'll help you find a job and start to live on your own. Hell, they'll even pay to have you come to one of the Job Corps centers. With no high school diploma or GED, this looks like the only good option for my friend.

But she's intent on trying to live in an apartment in San Diego (keep in mind, apartments one bedroom are usually 800 bucks a month in just rent not including utilities or groceries) on a fast food salary. She just can't do it. She's not even going to get a fast food job because she doesn't have her GED, she doesn't interview well, she's not reliable, dependable, confident, and she has no work ethic.

I went to her house to day and when they opened the front door I could smell garbage. Her house was completely filthy. Empty cans, trash, dishes just everywhere. And it smelled horrible.

I keep trying to tell her to either go back to her grandmas to get her GED or just go to Job Corps but she won't listen to me. And if I keep pushing her, she tells me I'm trying to control her life.

I don't really know what else to do. If she and her mother don't get a job and get things together, they're going to evict her. It's only a matter of time. And then she'll be homeless. It's either that or she gets sick from the enviornment she's living in.

Does anyone have any advice on what I could do?

Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

Be there for her however you can, but don't come anywhere near letting her be dependant on you. Offer consistent support, advice, and keep pointing to the rope that she could use to pull herself out. Eventually she'll realise (I hope) that she's gonna have to pull herself out.

You don't NEED high school for anything. Okay, fine, I'm canadian so this might not perfectly apply, but at the moment neither of my older brothers have high school diplomaness, and the older of the two (25) is a journeyman Carpenter and makes somewhere in the vicinity of 30 bucks an hour. He also works overtime lots, and therefore gets time-and-a-half and double-time pays. It's totally a road anyone can take. Being female is not an excuse, imo, because not all trades are physically demanding. I spent a year as a cabinetmaker and there was little that I did that was physically strenuous.

Now that doesn't solve the whole work ethic thing. Which brings me to my OTHER brother. He's... laid back... and... nonchalant, but he got a well-paying job through contacts. Friends of friends's dads (or moms) are BOUND to be bosses of something, and they're easier to convince to give someone a chance than people you're not connected to at all.

I'd strongly advise that whatever you point her to, make sure it has a future. Working in fast food isn't much for a long-term plan, so I'd point her at something that could build (Which is why I threw trades out there. Trades rock for that sort of thing).

Also, don't do anything direct. Whatever is done, she must do it. It's your job as a friend to coax her into that decision, nothing more.

That's my opinion. By no means do I claim to be the wizard of rescuing the socially distraught, BUT maybe, just maybe I've said one thing out of my many words that has some bearing and will help you along. Maybe.

Good luck with her, and I hope she does well.