Originally posted by Pixel_Outlaw

Today I wish to make an account of the visit by Reginauld Peamsly, the infant of my sister,

It was a lovely morning the dew was still on the leaves of my well tended estate.
My sister Beatrisa had thought it necessary to bring over infant son to make my acquaintance. She stood with child in arms cooing and cuddling. The child was then left to me at once. I had no experience interacting with such simpletons, for he made no sensible speech save only small laughs. I had noticed that in his hand his mother had left me a piece of confection. I naturally assumed that the child would hand me the sweet. I politely waited for said infant to deliver the item to me-his elder of 40 years. I could see that manners were not imbued within this upstart so I took the item by force. The irreverent and rude creature bit my pallid finger and let out a most unearthly sound. We then sat down for tea. It seemed as though he was enjoying sitting on my lap while taking biscuits from the table. However I was wrong, the events that followed were most unpleasant. There he sat with a look of deep concentration, his eyes did not blink and his face was a lovely shade of rose. A small smile crossed his face and I assumed he was enjoying his biscuit crumbs. It was then that I noticed a most foul smell coming from the tiny creature. I had no idea what to do in such an uncommon situation. Apparently the infant had no use for the chamberpot. I had my fill of this child upon arrival, first he kept my confection under protest, then he had shown poor hygiene in my own estate. It was not a moment too soon when my sister came to reclaim Reginauld Peamsly. The day was a complete loss. As I looked down I noticed that my fine pettycoat had the remains of red confection pressed in with a small hand. The house had a most horrid odour and the table setting was in disrepair. Mr. peamsly would not be permitted a second visit.