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Hello and welcome to pixeljoint!
I think both this and your other piece shows great promise but there are a lot of things you could do to improve them. I took the liberty to edit your piece ( I do hope it's alright) Edit: HERE! What I did in my edit was add contrast, your chosen colors are way too close to eachother in terms of value. It makes it look a bit muddy and certain details hard to destinguish. I added darker shadows to suit this dark and omnius character. I also decreased from the color count from 25 to 17. When certain colors reappear in the piece it gives it a greater feeling of unity.
Like I said, your work has promise, hope to see more of you!
Seding this and your other piece back, if you start a thread in the forum I'm sure you'll improve these in no time!