Hello, I submitted this piece, but I got a message saying that it didn't a high enough score to be in the gallery.

What could I do to improve it?

Ok, I tried to fix the lines and add anti-aliasing.

Old one on the left, new one on the right.



Are there are any other problems with it that I could fix?

So, I decided to start over from the beginning. Thanks for that you gave I was able to make this.



You think I should submit it to the gallery again or is there something else that I didn't catch?

Improved a ton! Also, I agree with everything that Hatch is suggesting. :)

:P

As the contrast generally is so low the AA is pretty ineffectual. The colours could do with some hue shifting as the ramps are so straight, white does not need to be shaded with grey; try purples! Blue in particular can look real nice shaded in purples and highlighted in greener, more cyan colours.

Only submit it to the gallery when you are 100% done with your work.

Now you look like you just edit a few things and then try again, make it your work and don't think that getting it into the gallery is the highest point you can reach.

Good luck.

My problem with this piece is, I can't relate to it.

What's a dolphin snake? do they live in water or on the ground, are they a natural hybrid or some mad scientist's dream, is there just one, does he like being one?

Maybe you have the answers to those questions, if not I suggest you think about it.
I'm not saying you have to tell us, just that your art will have more life in it if you know more about it.

Then I think some answers to the more technical aspects would become obvious.

Also, I totally agree with DrunkB: the main point about showing your art is to improve, the main fun about art is doing it. I understand you want to have something in your gallery, we all do, just be patient and keep working.
Not all pieces have a gallery future, all are useful as learning stages. This one has already noticeably improved, I've no doubt you'll make it soon!

Yeap. I think the biggest problem are the lines, they look kinda wierd.

No problem with white, this is not the gallery.

Quick edit:



I see several problems with your lines.
One is strictly technical: drawing smooth curves. Yours generally tend inward. I'd recommend practicing perfect circles of all sizes, you will quickly understand the idea and be able to apply it to any curve.
It is important to constantly check your piece at 100 or 200% max, almost after every other pixel. You can't easily see those problems at the larger scales.

Then, you can give the guy more dynamic, cartoony lines by accentuating some shapes. I didn't go far enough in this, mostly because I'm no good at it!
This is where the 'idea(s)' underlying the character should guide your choices.
(I would also have made him taller, maybe by as much as one head: he looks very, very short, right from the start)

One small technical point: in some places I outlined in green, you have 'banding', meaning similar clusters on two close lines. Try to avoid this at all cost!

Another good thing you may have done already is to check some ref. Google snakes and dolphins, and practice drawing them on paper. When you've done some, you might find you have a better understanding of what are the important shapes that instantly scream 'i'm a dolphin' to the viewer.

So, I wanted to try a photoshop drawing first, to get a better idea.



I decided to drop the dolphin idea, make it a regular snake, change the eyes, make him skinnier, and longer.

I came out with this. The little tail on the end was a real pain.



I also changed the body line in the middle. I'll do that without an outline, or drop it altogether.

I'm not giving up on this guy. I don't care if I have to spend all winter break on it!

EDIT: Wanted to do color/shade it too.



8 colors.


Edited by Buddy90 - 17 December 2009 at 7:37pm

Looking MUCH better.

Two things:

1. The back of his neck/whatever (oh, snake anatomy!) where it goes into the curve is a little thin and harsh. It's like he very suddenly has a lump in his middle. Just smooth out that black line and I think you're golden, anatomywise.

2. You have two ramps here, but you're not letting them overlap even though they're all shades of green. You can really get more use out of them by using some of the darker greens to AA the underside: the black lineart against that pale belly is harsh! Alternately, you could just tint the belly-line to be a colour other than black. Ideally, you'd combine the two techniques. You could apply this to the tooth, too, which could use some AA to make it more of a triangle and less of a clearly-pixeled... someshapethatisntatriangle, haha. The eyebrow would benefit from some AA--maybe. The more I look the more I'm not sure... it looks pretty good at x1 as it is.

3. (okay three things) The highlight on the head is a little too front-and-center and tiny and defined. It doesn't really define the creature's shape, although it does help define your lightsource.

Dramatic improvement, sir. :D

Major deja vu here. I keep getting the feeling someone's going to beat me to this.


Edited by Petrichor - 19 December 2009 at 2:04am

Great improvement man, keep it up! Looks good so far. I personally like the green better than the brown though :P

Also, your outlines are kinda weird, perhaps too many colors on the outlines...? I may would look better with just black... but that might just be my preference. Great work!!