Also, the red from the cigar should be more orange if they are supposed to be glowing. It looks more like blood now lol

Late reply, but thanks! I've been working on this palette for a good while and couldn't put my finger on the exact issue, but that comment was a lot of help to me.

Pixel art isn't about the size, but pixel-level polish, and how much individual pixels affect the clusters that make up the image. This piece does have some stray pixels and jaggies so the pixel-level polish isn't great. The clusters being as large as they are and having the simple contours that they do also brings this more into oekaki territory. That said though, that doesn't mean this piece can't be pixel art, only that it could use a little more polish. Some AA could also help smooth out the more difficult jaggies.

On a more general note, the colours in this are a bit dull, the overall contrast is rather low. That's fine if it's what you intended, but having your colours cover a greater range of values (particularly darker darks) would make the composition more striking.