Brilliant! I can just picture one of them reality cleaning show crews turning up and all, only to be eaten by the monster. Hang on...is that why "How Clean Is Your House?" was cancelled?

It won't pass muster when the man from the council comes round for an inspection...

"Monster ooze on the steps? 'Elf 'n Safety nightmare, innit. Someone could slip on that stuff and do themselves a right damage. You'll have to clean it up sharpish, mate!"

<tuts disapprovingly and marks a big X in a box on his clipboard>

Ooooohh very creepy. I would not want to find that ooze monster in the basement.

I wouldn't want to run into that thing - covering the steps and all, that's some real nightmare fuel!