Have your kids stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy? Has their maturity completely broken your heart? Do not fear, Tooth Fairy 5000 is here! With it's completely frightening face, it will force your children into believing. It's high-tech tooth extracting equipment, a patented gold plated dental drill which can speed up to around 5000 spins per second, a simple hammer, a wrench (not shown) and a pipe which will disperse a small amount of anesthetic gas which has only been shown to be harmful to your child's liver, kidneys, lungs and brain will help your child get money from their teeth speedily and painlessly. All this equipment can even take out those pesky adult teeth

The Tooth Fairy 5000 is completely inviromantally sathe! It runs on straight methanol and only emits 200 particles of harmful gas per cubic millimeter of air. The Tooth Fairy 5000 weighs only as much as a small cow, so it probably will not completely break your floor, just damage it severely.

The Tooth Fairy 5000 is a great deal at only 2000 dollars! Shipped straight from the most fair trade and worker friendly sweatshops in North Korea. When you order, it will come with a two liter bottle of methanol which will fuel it for about twenty minutes, absolutely free! But, if you order now, you will recieve a do it yourself methanol kit for only 500 dollars extra.

To order, call 1-800-555-5555.

This product is not banned in the following countries: The People's Republic of China, South Africa, India, Singapore, North Korea.