I don't really like the way that it gets covered in darkness with the pink glow, maybe if it had expanding blots, or have the shadow expand based on a 3D rendering of it (expanding from the clothes/neck/face at different timings/distance), and maybe keep the hair lighting. But I like the art, and the smile at the end, he seems like an interesting main character. Do you have plans to make this game, or are you doing mock-ups of sorts for it?
I making the game, even if it takes me years to finish, since its a solo project, and the darkness, well, it makes sense once you see the complete transformation, which im about to upload