I agree with eishiya's 7-year-old comment, this is scarier than the original! It looks like a creature you'd encounter on some forgotten computer game from the 80s, the keyboard and screen covered in cobwebs and dust. Fitting for bloodborne's decrepit art style

Your link doesn't work, Creative Uncut doesn't allow linking directly to images. It might work if you link to the page the image is on, but I don't know.

Surprisingly, I think your version actually reads more clearly and looks scarier than the concept art.