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Ensellitis
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Quote Ensellitis Replybullet Topic: I love hate mail
    Posted: 11 September 2005 at 1:09pm
I haven't gotten hate mail forever it seems...  But I just recently got some:

From: margareteporter@yahoo.com
Subject: possable lawsuite

chris ensill,
i recently went through my sons internet explorer history of websites that he had visited lately and found he had been visiting your web site ensellitis.com one of the stories posted on your website had the word sh*t in it it was the link of http://www.ensellitis.com/?p=6  i dont apprecate my son being able to see filthy curse words like that.  please remove it and any other curse word you have on your site it will make it better it seems like a great site but the curseing really ruins it for me and other parents.  if you do not remove these urse words i will contact the fbi and a lawer and sue you for my son learning this word from your site.  we are catholic and do not wish to read that. pleease respond as soon as you can so maybe we can resolve this.

sincerely,
margarete porter

Is this not hilarious?  The FBI is going to arrest me for saying sh*t on my personal site?  
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Shark
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Quote Shark Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 1:39pm
tell her to give her son some privacy, would she rather he looked at
porn?
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Quote Vidd Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 1:43pm
we are catholic and do not wish to read that.


I fail so see how that is relevant at all. :|
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pixelblink
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Quote pixelblink Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 1:57pm

Tell her to put a content filter on her computer and to shove it up her ass

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Wannahlakujuu
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Quote Wannahlakujuu Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 2:37pm
Originally posted by pixelblink

Tell her to put a content filter on her computer and to shove it up her ass

excuse me young man, but I don't appreciate being exposed to such vile language. Don't make me sue you.

I too love hate-mail, although I don't get much



Edited by Wannahlakujuu
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Shark
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Quote Shark Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 3:36pm
this is the funniest topic for ages. we have her address so i
might send her some hate mail critising everything in her hate mail
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pixelblink
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Quote pixelblink Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 3:38pm

Actually, you can say "ass" on TV .. and I believe "sh*t" as well. It was on a South Park episode wasn't it?

f**k, I don't know

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Wannahlakujuu
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Quote Wannahlakujuu Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 3:51pm

Oh, I don't watch much tv so I wouldn't know. Ya, I'm just on the computer all day

Edit: Holy crap, she spelt possible wrong. That is hilarious What an idiot



Edited by Wannahlakujuu
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pixelblink
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Quote pixelblink Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 4:02pm
She spelled many things wrong. She also used the word "sh*t" which she claimed she didn't like reading but, I guess she likes spelling it.  
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me7356
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Quote me7356 Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 4:24pm
That's gotta be the stupidest thing ever. Who goes on the internet and doesn't know that word? Why's she letting her kid go on the internet without supervision, anyway?
What a dumbass parent!
The reader of this has no life.
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Ensellitis
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Quote Ensellitis Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 4:28pm
I just replied to it:

Dear Margarete,
I always enjoy a good challenge,such as trying to read emails with a 90% lack of any shape or form of grammar.  Hold on my waffles are finished cooking...  ...  ...  Sorry, I like to make waffles from scratch, since you are apparently a house wife, I will let you in on a little cooking secret, go to church, and when you get the body of christ, spit it out, do that until you get about a 1/4 cup of it, then throw that in the mix.  I call them Jesus Waffles, yum yum.  Now, back to your email...  I always enjoyed it when my parents would sneak into my room and pry into my personal life. However, being a member of Store Herbs In Tupperware (Or sh*t), I can not remove the "words" as you call them.  sh*t has taught myself, as well as other members of sh*t, that you should never edit posts, sh*t has many rules against this.  sh*t also teaches that sh*t members should help out non-sh*t members in as many sh*ty ways as possible.  These Jesus waffles are so good, I have a little blood of Jesus, to wash it down, yum.  So I am going to use my sh*t contacts to get a hold of the FBI for you.  Here it is, abuse@fbi.gov.  The sh*t president (We call him sh*t master) got that for me, so please contact the FBI for me, I am to busy with sh*t.  the lawsuite will be fine, but seriously, unless you are going to invite all of sh*t, I just need a single.  Maybe with a mini bar so I can drink until satan comes up from Alabama and plays the fiddle with me.  I am glad to see a woman takes the time to keep her son from seeing any form of cursing words, sh*t is completely against children being involved with the real world, sh*t is currently involved in a campaign to never let children see the light of day until they turn 40.  I can play the fiddle really good. 

I look forward to hearing more from you.

Cordially,
Chris EnsEll
Director of sh*t


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pixelblink
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Quote pixelblink Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 5:23pm

sh*t dude, I want some Jesus Waffles too!

That rocks man... she's gonna explode when she reads it!

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Wannahlakujuu
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Quote Wannahlakujuu Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 5:25pm

No words can describe your brilliance. Jesus waffles.......ummm........

Do you have a store herbs in tupperware sign-up sheet?

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Quote Kirra Replybullet Posted: 11 September 2005 at 5:54pm
rofl that is hilarious

jesus waffles sure do sound mighty tasty and to make them even better theyre offensive.


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OMGFossil
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Quote OMGFossil Replybullet Posted: 12 September 2005 at 3:56am
Bahahaha
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Blueberry_pie
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Quote Blueberry_pie Replybullet Posted: 12 September 2005 at 8:06am
Dude, Ensellitis... that's frickin' hilarious 

Seriously, if she doesn't want her son to read words like sh*t, why would she even let him on the internet?
I bet over half of the web sites on the internet mention the word sh*t at least once.


Edited by Blueberry_pie
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flaber
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Quote flaber Replybullet Posted: 12 September 2005 at 3:14pm
heh just read it.
only thing that i dont like is the Jesus waffles and Blood of Jesus mentioned. This isnt even directed at me, and its still kinda offensive to me. But ehh maby thats just me.

Just becarful with that because isnt that uhhhh cant think of the word... predujice??? I know that probably the wrong word, but i mean "racist" against religion. Cant remember that word. But that would create an even larger problem than already exists.
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Ensellitis
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Quote Ensellitis Replybullet Posted: 12 September 2005 at 3:20pm
If you find it offensive, then that is your problem.  I am not being racist" against religion, I am being a smart ass towards a woman clearing taking things to seriously and being an idiot.  But if you are going to find it offensive, then you are more then welcome not to read this thread. 

I am not a bigot in any shape or form, so don't ever even try to make it sound that way again.
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Wannahlakujuu
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Quote Wannahlakujuu Replybullet Posted: 12 September 2005 at 5:32pm
I'm catholic, but I'm not offended. If the lord can forgive the sins of the world, I think he can forgive a joke towards an idiot woman
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Quote Saboteur Replybullet Posted: 12 September 2005 at 9:19pm

I'm totally going to disguise myself then send you hate mail, just so you can reply and I can laugh.

You missed a step. "so don't ever even try to make it sound that way again, or I shall crucify your ass"

"I was minding my own business and walking across a pebbled path, and a Duck started giving me the business."
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Ensellitis
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Quote Ensellitis Replybullet Posted: 12 September 2005 at 11:37pm
Hate mail I deal with in comical ways all the time.  I find what really pisses off pissed of people the most is to make them want to laugh, or be a sarcastic a**hole.  That I learned from years of customer service.  

On the advice from a member on another forum I visit, I made post about it on my site, and I was even civil about it. 


Edited by Ensellitis
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Quote MrPumpernickel Replybullet Posted: 13 September 2005 at 1:06pm
That's the perfect way to go by things if you want to raise a highly neurotic and paranoid kid. I can imagine years from now, and countless therapy sessions later, him still looking over his shoulder when he's going to take a dump. I hope to god he'll never discover porn, and that his mother discovers it too, he'll be looking over his shoulder every time he's about to get laid.
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Brian the Great
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Quote Brian the Great Replybullet Posted: 13 September 2005 at 1:51pm
One word for it: hoax.

If not: funny.
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me7356
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Quote me7356 Replybullet Posted: 10 October 2005 at 5:51pm
Got any more funny hate mail?
The reader of this has no life.
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zi-double
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Quote zi-double Replybullet Posted: 11 October 2005 at 2:37am

muhahaaaaa

I haven't words Ensellitis ... and can't show my face when read that post, but be shure laugh a long time :)

muhahaaaaa

and cry for mercy when FBI arrest you haaahaha in actuality they must arrest you for your current avatar man ?

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Quote Womped Replybullet Posted: 11 October 2005 at 3:19am
Have a little sympathy...




But seriously, don't insult someones beliefs.
Also, you misspelt sh*tty.
Maybe if you were less intelligent people would like you more?
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Ensellitis
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Quote Ensellitis Replybullet Posted: 11 October 2005 at 7:00am
Originally posted by Womped


Have a little sympathy...
But seriously, don't insult someones beliefs.

I gave up on sympathy years ago.  And if someone is going to threaten me, I will attack, no holds bared.

Originally posted by Womped


Also, you misspelt sh*tty.

I don't care.
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There's a pubic hair on my keyboard. What the f**k?? I "mow the lawn" so it's not mine. Gross.
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Brian the Great
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Quote Brian the Great Replybullet Posted: 11 October 2005 at 8:32am
Originally posted by Ensellitis


Originally posted by Womped


Also, you misspelt sh*tty.

I don't care.


That just made my day
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Quote inkspot Replybullet Posted: 28 October 2005 at 6:12am

Originally posted by Womped

Have a little sympathy...




But seriously, don't insult someones beliefs.

 

Hmm, that hatemail sender insulted someones beliefs in sh*t! Isn't that interesting?

 

But as for the thread, I think that someone has just got japed. I just don't believe in such hatemail!

 

Yea, I ruined the thread again.

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Quote Enkeli Replybullet Posted: 28 October 2005 at 6:23pm

Hate mail, always amusing, but I must say, I've never come across a reply to hate mail quite so witty as yours, Ensellitis. Thank you for brightening my day.

And I really do wonder if it is a hoax hatemail, or is just someone acting like a complete idiot. So basically, the question is are they acting like a complete idiot, or are they a complete idiot?

Either still makes me laugh. XD

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Quote leel Replybullet Posted: 28 October 2005 at 7:10pm

Originally posted by Enkeli

And I really do wonder if it is a hoax hatemail, or is just someone acting like a complete idiot. So basically, the question is are they acting like a complete idiot, or are they a complete idiot?

ah.. that is the question.  Right up there with "Where did we come from?", "Why are we here?" and "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"

 

I hope it was just someone fooling around.. cause it's pretty depressing to think that someone has such a dumbass of a mom lol



Edited by leel
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pixelblink
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Quote pixelblink Replybullet Posted: 28 October 2005 at 7:35pm
Leel: 42
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Shark
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Quote Shark Replybullet Posted: 29 October 2005 at 3:29am
i love that book Pb, the film is also rather good.
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Blueberry_pie
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Quote Blueberry_pie Replybullet Posted: 29 October 2005 at 8:51am
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pixelblink
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Quote pixelblink Replybullet Posted: 29 October 2005 at 10:34am
not as much going on for 42: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&q=42
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Ensellitis
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Quote Ensellitis Replybullet Posted: 29 June 2006 at 8:27pm
W00t!  Necro posting to the max!

Anyways, got another one:
Your website "blog" posts i find very offensive.  You use a lot of crude language and I am sorry to say I will never visit your WWW site ever again.  I find you to be immature and possible psychologically disturbed.  Good bye.


And as always, my reply:
Well, thank you for the kind email.  I would like to assure to you that I love you.  Seriously.  I really love you.  I would like to make many wonderful babies for you.  But I digress...  I am sorry you find my "cursing" immature, I am not as immature as you might think.  I love the Power Rangers and go to every Star Wars convention I can.  I dress as Chewbacca.  He is soooooooooo underrated, don't you think?  I sure do, he was the back bone of the entire operation!!!  I assure you my psychy is just fine, the judge said so after clearing all charges against me.  I want to have his babies and eat them as well.

Well, have a nice day, and please, write me back!
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There's a pubic hair on my keyboard. What the f**k?? I "mow the lawn" so it's not mine. Gross.
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Quote Pixel_Outlaw Replybullet Posted: 29 June 2006 at 9:01pm

Meh I'm unimpressed please upgrade to the Shmup Commentizer v.3.7

Everyone knows that ver 1.0 is for teh n00bs.

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Larwick
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Quote Larwick Replybullet Posted: 30 June 2006 at 4:58am
That's like, the funniest thing i've read today.
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Aleiav
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Quote Aleiav Replybullet Posted: 30 June 2006 at 10:46am
Generally, people who can't spell lawsuit probably can't file one either.

I usually don't get hate mail because not that many people visit my site. And if they complained about the cussing on my blog, I'd tell them I didn't really give a sh*t.

If they don't want the boy to be exposed to cursing, they need to get off the internet period.

As far as their beliefs, I don't blame you for making the Jesus waffles joke. To me when someone tells me they don't like my behavior and asserts moral superiority over me just because they've found some god that they can't even prove exists (which I can't disprove exists, but still) I get very aggravated. She could have not mentioned her religion but she did and when people do that to me it sounds like they expect special treatment because they believe in something or that they know everything or are perfect people. Bullsh*t.

WTFWJD? he wouldn't tell you to take sh*t of you're website, that's for sure. He'd leave you the f**k alone.
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Larwick
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Quote Larwick Replybullet Posted: 30 June 2006 at 11:05am
Read the entire thread...

Originally posted by Larwick

That's like, the funniest thing i've read...ever.
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Aleiav
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Quote Aleiav Replybullet Posted: 30 June 2006 at 12:08pm
I read the new one but the old one was more annoying. :P
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Quote Stitchy Replybullet Posted: 20 July 2006 at 12:38pm
Wow. I applaude you, En. xD Some crazy wit you've got there...

Originally posted by Aleiav

As far as their beliefs, I don't blame you for making the Jesus waffles joke. To me when someone tells me they don't like my behavior and asserts moral superiority over me just because they've found some god that they can't even prove exists (which I can't disprove exists, but still) I get very aggravated. She could have not mentioned her religion but she did and when people do that to me it sounds like they expect special treatment because they believe in something or that they know everything or are perfect people. Bullsh*t.

WTFWJD? he wouldn't tell you to take sh*t of you're website, that's for sure. He'd leave you the f**k alone.

Yes. D: /clings to you like a parasite for the rest of your life.
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Quote Shawn Replybullet Posted: 20 July 2006 at 10:36pm
rofl

I'd love to get hatemail from a mother like that. I'd seriously hate to be her son though. This topic made me laugh so hard <3
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Quote mike2590 Replybullet Posted: 21 July 2006 at 1:35am
my bro is a lawyer, and he strongly suggests taht you remove her email from this thread.  he had some law that you are in violation of, but I forget; either way, the point is that you should get that sh*t off of this thread. 
 
also, good stuff with the housewife comment
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Quote Shark Replybullet Posted: 21 July 2006 at 1:42am
pppfft she could come after ensell with a big-assed hunting knife and he wouldnt care.
Snark, we love yuu.
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Quote Skull Replybullet Posted: 21 July 2006 at 4:54am
lol Chewie.. Silly people.
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Larwick
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Quote Larwick Replybullet Posted: 21 July 2006 at 9:11am
Originally posted by mike2590

he had some law that you are in violation of, but I forget; either way, the point is that you should get that sh*t off of this thread. 
 
 
Don't swear unnecissarily pls.
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Quote Skull Replybullet Posted: 21 July 2006 at 9:42am
Originally posted by Larwick

Originally posted by mike2590

he had some law that you are in violation of, but I forget; either way, the point is that you should get that sh*t off of this thread. 
 
 
Don't swear unnecissarily pls.


And definatly don't swear towards Ensellitis.. we used to have a badge!
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Ensellitis
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Quote Ensellitis Replybullet Posted: 21 July 2006 at 2:52pm
Originally posted by mike2590

my bro is a lawyer, and he strongly suggests taht you remove her email from this thread.  he had some law that you are in violation of, but I forget; either way, the point is that you should get that sh*t off of this thread. 
 
also, good stuff with the housewife comment


emaill addresses are public domain once you send me email as per my terms of service, as do their IPs, that was cleary marked on the comment page...  oh, and i studied law and there is none...

SO SHUT UP STUPID N00B!!! 
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There's a pubic hair on my keyboard. What the f**k?? I "mow the lawn" so it's not mine. Gross.
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Aleiav
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Quote Aleiav Replybullet Posted: 21 July 2006 at 11:03pm
I doubt very seriously she could sue you with anything, except maybe defamation of character. But she'd have to prove that we characterized her in a way that she really isn't and that her reputation was damaged financially.

needless to say, she has no case.
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