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Inventrix
Midshipman ![]() ![]() Joined: 01 January 2008 Online Status: Offline Posts: 77 |
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Good lord, are you blind? It's ages better than that other edit you compared it too. Just look!
![]() ![]() It could use a little more work, the divide between the highlight and the shadow could use more of the midtone to soften the transition, but it's by far the best version yet. |
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Terley
Seaman ![]() ![]() Joined: 10 September 2006 Online Status: Offline Posts: 28 |
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well I think you're blind, he was heading towards better defined shapes and generally better use of his palette. He's gone back to a chunk of clay shaped into a tree-ish shape. There are no leaves anymore, the eyes are pillowshaded again and theres now we have a new problem of
it not being so clear at 100% Its hard to make out around the face of the tree in my opinion.
It did look too broccoli-ish but it was at a point where leaves could be defined and its structure could be finalised into something that could be more recognised as a tree. Morgan gave some great references to help him on which direction to take.
But I suppose in terms of ignoring all that been said on his own there are some improvements yes, the light source is better established and there the character has a more tree-ish feel to it but still I personally think its a step backwards KiraCatgirl.
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Inventrix
Midshipman ![]() ![]() Joined: 01 January 2008 Online Status: Offline Posts: 77 |
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All points taken, although I respectfully must disagree as to it being a step backwards. It's more a step in a different direction. It's less realistic, yes, but it shows a much better grasp of lighting and form, which are basics you should get before you work towards things like details. Not to mention all the Krysis avatars that this is being based off of, stylistically, are rather cartoony in style. I don't believe realism is the goal here.
I think it's much improved on his previous edit, but again as I said it can use more work. At least I got you to clarify exactly what the problems with the new version were, so purpletree has some useful critique to work off of. ![]() Edited by KiraCatgirl - 21 January 2008 at 4:53pm |
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Terley
Seaman ![]() ![]() Joined: 10 September 2006 Online Status: Offline Posts: 28 |
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then I suppose you have a better understanding to what purpletree is trying to achieve here because im totally lost at the minute, I advised him to steer away from realism and focus on its readability. But in all honesty if you want to make a tree in any art form with whatever style you choose do you not agree looking at a tree at some point would sure help. As long as its recognised as a tree the stylistic choice is non questionable since it was his choice (It's a purple tree with a face for crying out loud), since atm it looks more like an explosion more than anything he's not convicing me its a tree.
also critique isn't pointing out all the flaws, you shouldn't see art as a list of errors. I pointed out parts that could be improved and ways to further this, the initial artist isn't blind, he doesnt need a list of faults, he needs answers on how to fix them.
I think you need to clue up on your own critique Kira, im yet to see some advice explained well enough from you to be of vital help, from whats not been said various times before of course. Edited by Terley - 21 January 2008 at 5:26pm |
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Inventrix
Midshipman ![]() ![]() Joined: 01 January 2008 Online Status: Offline Posts: 77 |
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Well I'm haven't been critiquing this piece atl all.
![]() Edited by KiraCatgirl - 21 January 2008 at 6:43pm |
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purpletree
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 28 December 2007 Location: Belgium Online Status: Offline Posts: 151 |
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ok so who thinks i've gone backwards and wo thinks i haven
t... coz i personally think i haven't.. but i sorta have... i have no idea... ????? |
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Terley
Seaman ![]() ![]() Joined: 10 September 2006 Online Status: Offline Posts: 28 |
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well its your work so you do what you want with it, at the end of the day you're trying to acomplish something by this avatar. Hopefully trying to learn more to better yourself so I'd just keep at it if I were you. You've got outsider opinions now so goodluck.
Don't mean to offend purpletree It just seems like you added so much to it, and then just took it all away going against what was advised. But you seem like you really want to improve and I commend you on that. Edited by Terley - 22 January 2008 at 5:39am |
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purpletree
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 28 December 2007 Location: Belgium Online Status: Offline Posts: 151 |
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so what do you think i should do with it???
and no offence taken!~ |
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Blu
Commander ![]() Joined: 23 January 2008 Online Status: Offline Posts: 208 |
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What I think you need to do is shade the eyes and the mouth and the trunk a little bit...
Here, I have circled what I think you need to fix up a bit.
![]() Explanations:
1) Jagged edge.
2) Too much highlight...that is to say, don't have that lightest color there. Fill it with the second lightest color.
3) Same as 2, and make it more round.
4) Add a few pixels going in with the darker shade.
5) Jagged edge.
6) Jagged edge.
7) Too quick from that highlight to the darkest color.
8) Your background color is covering your outline of your tree.
9) Same as 7, and maybe make it more rounded.
10) Jagged edges.
11) Shade it! Take a darker color for the farthest part on the left and then do the second color and then the lightest in between the lines for the second color.
12) Shade it! See 11.
Oh, and for shading the trunk, on the right do a little coloring with a lighter color, just one, and maybe a little dithering. Don't do more than half, and I'd recommend doing a little less than that.
Hope that isn't too tell-y! ^^;;;
Oh, and knowing what to fix comes with practice and patience, sorry to repeat what others have said. =] But it's true! XD Edited by BluWriter - 26 January 2008 at 9:12am |
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Gremlins rule the world; you just don't know it yet.
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purpletree
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 28 December 2007 Location: Belgium Online Status: Offline Posts: 151 |
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Kee
Commander ![]() ![]() Joined: 06 September 2007 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 127 |
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i dont think it is quite ready Make the eyes more noticable, as it takes me some looking to find the eyes
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Blu
Commander ![]() Joined: 23 January 2008 Online Status: Offline Posts: 208 |
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There are two rather random (I believe) hightlights on there. =[ The one that is two pixels wide, just that small line, and then that random one pixel right by the darkest shad (excluding outline). I'd get rid of those. Or make the two pixel one three pixels, one pixel down in the front, directly beneath the pixel on the right, but get rid of the one pixel completely, I think...
Edit: To clarify, the highlight that is two pixels wide/long is directly to the right of the single highlight pixel. Edited by BluWriter - 01 February 2008 at 5:13pm |
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Gremlins rule the world; you just don't know it yet.
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