DISCLAIMER:  I am insane.  I had to give up trying to make people happy up front, so if I get on your nerves, tell me, as part of my my crazy is that I am nearly impossible to offend.  Despite my strange behavior, I really am worth knowing.  I brag about myself quite a bit, but I assure you that anything I make claims about is true.  I don't care to belittle others by this, rather, I am proud of myself.  I only own two pairs of pants--I have to feel good about something.