Big razor with D-pad and two buttons. The edge is blunt and pressure sensitive.
Of course I'm not serious with it ;) It's just a concept that came to my mind after reading another "I sux with everything and everybody hates me" ;P
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I don't think your idea fit well the challenge, it doesn't make sense.
The piece in itself doesn't seem to be something more than a wip, and you use a huge ammount of colors for a result which is quite poor.