The Linear RPG


A pixelated spoof based on, and inspired by, the new mega-failure: Final Fantasy XII.

This game is every bit as Final Fantasy down to linear gameplay, random deaths, and a cliche story.

Play game.

Posted by greenraven @ 12/29/2009 00:10  |    37


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SpaceSalmon (Level 1 Rookie) @ 1/12/2010 14:16

You could not expect the limited mind of us humans to come up with something new, now could you? We live in a cliche world.

greenraven (Level 2 Hired Gun) @ 1/11/2010 16:43

Yeah, but there comes a point where you just get tired of the same cliche stories. "Oh look, the princess has been kindapped. Oh goodie."

Sometimes you just want something fresh and new.

linx (Level 1 Intern) @ 1/10/2010 23:57

What isn't cliche nowadays :P  I think people are a bit too critical on storylines

NaCl (Level 3 Hatchet Man) @ 1/10/2010 11:52

 If you're worried, then you should look into how to tell a story in a more traditional media. Probably just focus on the basics (character motivations, sensical plot, believable bad guy, etc...), don't get too fancy and avoid cliches like the plague 

Vertigo-Zero (Level 9 Necrophiliac) @ 1/9/2010 14:11

FFTA was awesome, even tho the storyline was simple. Didn't bother to try any other FF after playing (i believe) FF2. Korean MMO games only have my interest until I turn lvl 5, after that its a waste of time. Thanks Greenraven for reminding me about Shining Force *gives karma*. I wonder if its on the internets somewhere...

linx (Level 1 Intern) @ 1/7/2010 14:36

Haha, people are so judging @_@.  A lot of talk about ridiculous stories where things are horrible (i didn't think eragon that bad, but refuse to read twilight), which makes me very very scared about writing a storyline for my game. I mean jeez you guys just ripped on a bunch of rpg's ><. Doesnt make me feel too happy about trying to write a storyline... so what do you suggest to make a storyline more interesting (i read someone's comment about Chrono cross having tons of players ect, but that requires a lot of art)

leeor_net (Level 1 Rookie) @ 1/3/2010 23:39


What about FF4, FF5 and FF6? All awesome games.

yspark901 (Level 1 Jukyu) @ 1/3/2010 16:12

 10% in exp is more like it. ;\ Although I will say that when it is that you do level up, it's like you've conquered the world or something; it's an achievement on its own. *sigh*

slym (Level 8 Rear Admiral) @ 1/3/2010 12:27

@yspark901: XD Korean Mmo's are so funny because you will spend a day playing it and go up 1 level.  

Di0xygen (Level 4 Mercenary) @ 1/3/2010 04:01

I have to say the only ""next gen"" Rpg. (by next gen i mean, not old skool) Was chrono cross, for the simple fact that they completely removed random battles and powerleveling. And had a very complicated and well driven storyline. It's biggest flaw was that most of the time the story was a bit too complicated, and it's sometime a bit hard to make heads or tails of what is going on.

But having 60+ completely different playable characters each with a wonderful and distinc personality is great. A great sequel to a perfect oldskool rpg

Zeratanus (Level 4 Deputy) @ 1/2/2010 21:58

Because it doesnt matter what FF number you put in, ESPECIALLY anything Squeenix has done cuz they all suck (Final Fantasy, Star Ocean, whatever standalone things they've done).


And 12 WAS better than 10, if only because super-amazingly-generic-boring story beats absolute rediculous bull****. But it was still a total piece of junk.

Dangerism (Level 1 Rookie) @ 1/2/2010 20:37

 How come everyone is missing the OP failure... new  mega-failure: Final Fantasy XII?

I thought 12 did okay, even though the story wasn't as good as the previous FFs.

Tarenken (Level 3 Stalker) @ 1/2/2010 18:28

PJ needs a karma system. Sometimes I wish I could give someone points for an excellent crit, edit, or funny comment.

Ah well, it'd just end up being abused anyways.

Tarenken (Level 3 Stalker) @ 1/2/2010 18:26

Someone reccommended Phantasy Star to me... guess that makes two reccommendations, haha.

I do have to agree that there are a lot of old school games that are great, but I don't think people should think that all newer games are terribad just because of some (okay, A LOT OF) bad apples. It's like what I always say about furries (sorry to bring you into this if you are one) - a lot of them are whiny and oversexual, but doesn't mean you can't be friends with one.

In other news, compared to the first 3 in the series, Persona 4 is absolute crap.

greenraven (Level 2 Hired Gun) @ 1/2/2010 18:17

There are a few console gems out there. Ogre Battle 64, Phantasy Star series, Shining Force series, Beyond Oasis, Comix Zone. Hmmm, I seem to be naming only old skool games. :\

Adarias (Level 11 Special Agent) @ 1/2/2010 17:40


Lol, I wish i could give you karma just for digging that one up

Tarenken (Level 3 Stalker) @ 1/2/2010 17:07

"But then, I don't have a high opinion of any game which capitalizes on a barely literate, angsty pre-teen audience, which ecompases the majority of RPG's (sqauresoft being the worst offender, but not alone)."
You're thinking of Persona, methinks. Not that I don't like Persona, I AM a teenager after all.

I honestly prefer JRPGs to Western RPGs, but there are a lot of terrible RPGs in each category (and albeit more terrible JRPGs than western RPGs), just like there are a lot of bad books (Twilight, Eragon)

Adarias (Level 11 Special Agent) @ 1/2/2010 16:59

If you take it in consideration against PC and tabletop RPG's it's not original (at all.)  Doesn't make it worse.

Console rpg's in general set a very low bar for storytelling.  You know you're in trouble when Beyond Good and Evil (an AWESOME game with like a B+ plot) is probably one of the best storytelling game out there.  Then you get games like Metal Gear which have a very simple/boring story but simply refuse to tell it in order to create the illusion of depth (FF7 does this too, come to think of it).  The original Myst, Flashback, Day of the Tenticle, Monkey Island....each of these kicks the pants off of anything for consoles and it has no living beings aside from the player.

But then, I don't have a high opinion of any game which capitalizes on a barely literate, angsty pre-teen audience, which ecompases the majority of RPG's (sqauresoft being the worst offender, but not alone).

Tarenken (Level 3 Stalker) @ 1/2/2010 13:34

I'd say SMT stories are some of the least predictable and linear RPG-wise, considering all RPGs, stories, novels etc are predictable to a degree.

But yeah, their published games aren't too great.


Adarias (Level 11 Special Agent) @ 1/2/2010 11:05

almost every Atlus game after say, 1998 (mostly the published games, although the same is true of the ones they develop themselves).

shin megami tensei and growlanser are two great series but that doesn't make the stories less linear/predictable :P


What they left out (and what woud make it truely about Final Fantasy) is the sudden and arbitrary leaps to other continents

Tarenken (Level 3 Stalker) @ 1/2/2010 10:23

What Atlus titles are you implying? If you compare this to the Shin Megami Tensei series in any way... *insert threat here*

Anyways, I've never liked FF. MOTHER and Megaten ftw.

Stickman (Level 7 Sheriff) @ 1/2/2010 07:58

I bought and prefered Xenogears...

KoA (Level 3 Stalker) @ 1/1/2010 22:34

 I lke Dragon Quest

Dusty (Level 3 Private Eye) @ 1/1/2010 21:48

I liked FFVIII and X :(

Adarias (Level 11 Special Agent) @ 1/1/2010 21:06

Good idea, uninteresting and awkward execution.  It also reminds more of Atlas titles than anything else.

FFVII is a fine game, I could never play it now though because yeah, it's tedious as hell.  Not as tedious as VIII which had a better story.

Last decent final fantasy was VI, which embraced its own clichedness.

FFT had a story that rings true until you turn 14 and then turns out to be extremely juvenile and poorly written (even moreso with the new port which attempts to be peotic and falls hard on its ass).

ellie-is (Level 8 Partner) @ 1/1/2010 16:36

 Just finished. Level 40. ><

Most FF games are pretty boring. FFTA, on the other hand is one of the best GBA games out there (I have yet to play FFT, or the one for the DS) 

heyy13 (Level 3 Private Eye) @ 1/1/2010 15:53

What are you saying! I'm booting up Aion as we speak! (korean MMO) It's no more tedious then any other game in it's genre and atleast it's pretty to look at. :D (also adictive)

Noet (Level 3 Corporate Drone) @ 1/1/2010 15:44


Shawn (Level 9 Federal Agent) @ 1/1/2010 12:02

it was made long before ffxiii, it only became more popular because ffxiii was being compared to it for being pretty much the same game. lol

yspark901 (Level 1 Jukyu) @ 1/1/2010 11:42

 If you think FF series is tedious, try a korean MMO.

Zeratanus (Level 4 Deputy) @ 1/1/2010 11:26

Man that was epic. So much better than anything Squeenix is made. For the record, I do like about half of the Final Fantasies before the merger, and Final Fantasy Tactics is the game of the gods. But X and 12... ugh just... wow... They dont even try anymore.

Sly (Level 1 Gangster) @ 1/1/2010 11:24

Love the ending xD


Carnivac (Level 8 Shodan) @ 1/1/2010 06:46

That actually was more interesting than any Final Fantasy which is the single most tedious game series ever created.  FFVII was by far and away the worst game I ever bought for any of my consoles.

Opacus (Level 7 Ichikyu) @ 1/1/2010 06:38

Except that Final Fantasy XII is awesome.

Savaril (Level 2 Quiet One) @ 1/1/2010 06:04

It held my interest better than Final Fantasy could.

sharprm (Level 4 Deputy) @ 1/1/2010 02:33

the gamplay is exactly like those final fantasy games i kept running around the same checkpoint until i levelled up and it was easier to get further. didn't the old rpgs like chrono trigger cost you money to shelter so you couldn't do this?

Mathias (Level 6 Yonkyu) @ 1/1/2010 00:26

Cool concept. Uncool gameplay.

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