Book Quotes

The artist, like the God of the creation, remains within or behind or beyond or above his handiwork, invisible, refined out of existence, indifferent, paring his fingernails.

Stephen Dedalus, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, V (1916)
A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating.

Anonymous, New International Version Bible, Proverbs 18:6 (1984)
Remember this, that there is a proper value and proprtion to be observed in the performance of every act.

Marcus Aurelius Antonius, Unknown Source, lb.IV.32 (180)
All things from eternity are of like forms and come round in circle.

Marcus Aurelius Antonius, Unknown Source, Auden - Aurelius (121)
lb II. 14
DON'T PANIC!

Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

Edgar Bergen, Unknown Source
To me back then, the cartoon was like Shakespeare blown up.

Jack Nicholson, Five Easy Decades: How Jack Nicholson Became the Biggest Movie Star in Modern Times (2007)
We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.

Richard Dawkins, Unweaving the Rainbow
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

Albert Einstein, Unknown Source
There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke, though the wit thereof he but dimly discerns, and more than suspects that the joke is at nobody's expense but his own.

Herman Melville, Moby Dick, Forty-nine (1851)
Stimulate a passion, and the borderline emotionally bleeds to death

Anonymous, I Hate You - Don't Leave Me, 4
Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?

Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book, 11 (1989)
in regards to radio stations pulling his music due to complaints
A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?

Lord Henry Wotton, The Picture of Dorian Gray, VI (1891)
Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, 'What happens if I do this?'

Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
I regard each sentence as a little wheel... Now and again I try to put a really big one next to a very small one in such a way that the big one, turning slowly, will make the small one spin so fast that it hums. Very tricky, that.

Roald Dahl, Completely Unexpected Tales, page 333
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything (1982)
I wish you ALL a HORRIBLE Summer, an AWFUL Christmas and a TERRIBLE New Year

Anonymous, Unknown Source, A New Penguin Leunig page 15
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book (1989)
When beggers die, there are no comets seen;
The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.

William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar
All of a sudden I had the urge to paint some sheep.

Hiromu Arakawa, The Art of Full Metal Alchemist
Page 80
"Do you know the difference between an error and a mistake? Anyone can make an error. But that error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it."

Grand Admiral Thrawn, Heir to the Empire (1991)
Teaching is only demonstrating that it is possible. Learning is making it possible for yourself.

Paulo Coelho, Unknown Source
Time is never wasted. Wherever we go, whatever we do, everything is an aspect of education even when we don't immediately grasp the lesson.

Anonymous, Lord Valentine's Castle (1980)
Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and tortuous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we call it the word of a demon than the word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize humankind; and, for my part, I sincerely detest it, as I detest everything that is cruel.

Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason
Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifiying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity.

Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason
There was a time when religion ruled the world. It is known as The Dark Ages.

Ruth Hurmence Green, The Born Again Skeptic's Guide to the Bible
It does not make any difference how beautiful your guess is. It does not make any difference how smart you are, who made the guess, or what his name is-- if it disagrees with experiment it is wrong. That is all there is to it.

Richard Feynman, The Character of Physical Law
For ages, a deadly conflict has been waged between a few brave men and women of thought and genius upon the one side, and the great ignorant religious mass on the other. This is the war between Science and Faith. The few have appealed to reason, to honor, to law, to freedom, to the known, and to happiness here in this world. The many have appealed to prejudice, to fear, to miracle, to slavery, to the unknown, and to misery hereafter. The few have said "Think" The many have said "Believe!"

Robert Ingersoll, Gods
The most heinous and the most cruel crimes of which history has record have been committed under the cover of religion or equally noble motives.

Mahatma Ghandi, Young India (1927)
My only wish is. . . to transform friends of God into friends of man, believers into thinkers, devotees of prayer into devotees of work, candidates for the hereafter into students of the world, Christians who, by their own procession and admission, are "half animal, half angel" into persons, into whole persons.

Ludwig Feuerbach, Lectures on the Essence of Religion
For my own part I would as soon be descended from that heroic little monkey, who braved his dreaded enemy in order to save the life of his keeper; or from that old baboon, who, descending from the mountains, carried away in triumph his young comrade from a crowd of astonished dogs -- as from a savage who delights to torture his enemies, offers up bloody sacrifices, practices infanticide without remorse, treats his wives like slaves, knows no decency, and is haunted by the grossest superstitions.

Charles Darwin, The Descent of Man (1871)
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

Blaise Pascal, Pensees (1670)
You find as you look around the world that every single bit of progress in humane feeling, every improvement in the criminal law, every step toward the diminution of war, every step toward better treatment of the colored races, or every mitigation of slavery, every moral progress that there has been in the world, has been consistently opposed by the organized churches of the world. I say quite deliberately that the Christian religion, as organized in its churches, has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world.

Bertrand Russell, Why I Am Not a Christian
FAITH, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor do I wish it otherwise; such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble souls.

Albert Einstein, The World as I See It (1949)
We were all involved in the death of John Kennedy. We tolerated hate; we tolerated the sick stimulation of violence in all walks of life; and we tolerated the differential application of law, which said that a man's life was sacred only if we agreed with his views.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Why We Can't Wait (1963)
The conservatives who say, "Let us not move so fast," and the extremists who say, "Let us go out and whip the world," would tell you that they are as far apart as the poles. But there is a striking parallel: They accomplish nothing; for they do not reach the people who have a crying need to be free.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Why We Can't Wait (1963)
We are the heirs of a past of rope, fire, and murder. I for one am not ashamed of this past. My shame is for those who became so inhuman that they could inflict this torture upon us.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? (1967)
We are everlasting debtors to known and unknown men and women.... When we arise in the morning, we go into the bathroom where we reach for a sponge provided for us by a Pacific Islander. We reach for soap that is created for us by a Frenchman. The towel is provided by a Turk. Then at the table we drink coffee which is provided for us by a South American, or tea by a Chinese, or cocoa by a West African. Before we leave for our jobs, we are beholden to more than half the world.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love (1963)
It is a sad fact that because of comfort, complacency, a morbid fear of communism, and our proneness to adjust to injustice, the Western nations that initiated so much of the revolutionary spirit of the modern world have now become the arch-antirevolutionaries.

Martin Luther King, Jr., The Trumpet of Conscience (1968)
The curse of poverty has no justification in our age.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? (1967)
I would be the last to condemn the thousands of sincere and dedicated people outside the churches who have labored unselfishly through various humanitarian movements to cure the world of social evils, for I would rather a man be a committed humanist than an uncommitted Christian.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love (1963)
Millions of citizens are deeply disturbed that the military-industrial complex too often shapes national policy, but they do not want to be considered unpatriotic.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love (1963)
A world war - God forbid! - will leave only smoldering ashes as a mute testimony of a human race whose folly led inexorably to untimely death. Yet there are those who sincerely feel that disarmament is an evil and international negotiation is an abominable waste of time.

Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love (1963)
Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group." "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and yelled, "What's the matter, no jobs on Mars?" When no one laughed, I was real embarrassed. I don't think people should make you feel that way.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
I guess more bad things have been done in the name of progress than any other. I myself have been guilty of this. When I was a teenager, I stole a car and drove it out into the desert and set it on fire. When the police showed up, I just shrugged and said, "Hey, progress." Boy, did I have a lot to learn.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

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