TV Show Quotes

Nightmare- "Well hello there!"

Lenore - "EEEEPPP!"

Nightmare - " ...what?"

Lenore - "...OK, so you like dont remember. I was here before and i was having fun with a bunny on my head an you said -lets dance- and i said -ok- and the next thing i know you all boom with the fire and the evil and the killing and ..and what kinda guy scared the poo outta a 10 year old girl anyway huh? huh? I DONT LIKE POO......AND SHUT UP!!!!! "

Nightmate- "oh you must be mistaken i would never do something so harsh plus i absolutly adore children..... with butter."

Lenore - "..waaaaait a minute... what was that last part?

Lenore, the Cute Little Dead Girl, Unknown Source, 18. The Dream Catcher (Part 1)
Nightmate- "Let us dance the forbidden dance!"
Lenore - "Why is it forbidden?"
Nightmare - " I...dont...know.."

Lenore, the Cute Little Dead Girl, Unknown Source, The Dream Catcher (Part 1)
Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to scare you into buying useless appliances and pastes

Master Shake, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Season 1 Episode 15: Interfection (2002)
Nothing says 'the rebirth of the American car' like people taking the subway, and a one-legged man who would rather walk.

Jon Stewart, The Daily Show (1996)
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
Yes, I have a family. I left them back on Krypton.

House M.D., House
If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.

Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
Lemme just talk to you for a second about something that I think is good for America: caramel apples, ... I had one last night. Delicious. Not talking about candy apples. I think candy apples are a danger! You crack 'em, they're very sharp. You candy apple crowd need to wake up!

Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Uknown
My penis is on the loose, if you see it, try to catch it with some cheese.

Mr. Garrison, South Park
"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"

George Costanza, Seinfeld, "THE HAMPTONS" (1994)
Roy: Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? ... OK, well, the button on the side. Is it glowing? ... Yeah, you need to turn it on. Err, the button turns it on.

Roy, The IT Crowd (2006)
Mace: when 'get the fuck outta here' ... just won't do.

Jon Stewart, The Daily Show
I can't wait for him to burst through the door and hug me and give me hugs!

Roger the Alien, American Dad, Frannie 911
...but I'll tell you what's not cool; killing strippers. Strippers are people too; naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind the curtain of a VIP room. Besides, there's no reason to kill them, 'cause most of them are already dead inside.

Peter Griffin, Family Guy
And Joe, I've had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are. Since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.

Peter Griffin, Family Guy
I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal.

Peter Griffin, Family Guy
See, Meg, things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.

Peter Griffin, Family Guy
What are you gonna make me do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? 'Cause I'm married.

Peter Griffin, Family Guy
If you want an autograph right now, you either got to give me a pen or some snow.

Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Make like Siamese twins and split ... and then one of you die.

Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Excuse me sir, I believe you're in my seat and I had sex with your mother.

Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Alan: Holy mother of God!

Charlie: No, unholy mother of us!

Charlie Harper/Alan Harper, Two and a Half Men
Hi! I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from...

Troy McClure, The Simpsons
My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Abe Simpson, The Simpsons
Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons
There's no motivation like desperation!

Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch
Oh I'm sorry but I think you are confusing me with someone who gives a crap.

Dr. Cox, Scrubs
It may be what you need, but it is not what you require

Anonymous, Yin Yang Yo, 9 (2007)
As I felt I was going to vomit anyway, I decided I might do it in some style...

Iggy Pop, Unknown Source
Like everyone else, my list of Top 10 greatest all time songs features around 250 tracks. Fourteen of which are the best ever.

Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear (2006)
You don't have to have superpowers to be a hero.

Hiro Nakamura, Heroes
Tom: "In local news, we have more on the approach of Hurricane Rupaul as it makes his or her way up the coast.
Let's go live to Ollie Williams with the BlaccuWeather report. Ollie?"

Ollie:"IT'S RAININ' SIDEWAYS."

Tom:"Sounds rough Ollie, Do you have an umbrella?"

Ollie:"Had one!"

Tom:"Where is it?"

Ollie:"Inside out two miles away!"

Tom:"Is there anything we can do for you?"

Ollie:"Bring me some soup!"

Tom:"What kind?"

Ollie:"Chunky!!"

Tom: "All right, we'll get right on that."

Ollie Williams, Family Guy
That which does not kill us makes us stranger.

Trevor Goodchild, Aeon Flux
Michael: What is the best thing I've told you?
Dwight: Don't be an idiot, it changed my life.

Michael Scott/Dwight Schrute, Unknown Source (2006)
Roy: [singing] We don't need no education.
Moss: Yes you do; you've just used a double negative

Roy/Moss, The IT Crowd, The Red Door (2006)
They should be more honest. At least, Tony Adams from the IRA, he's like, "Yeah, I shoot people. I like shooting people."

Jeremy Osborne, Peep Show (2003)
What joke is next? "Hey, Jez, your mum's dead!"

Jeremy Osborne, Peep Show (2003)
It's payback time. And she's going to pay back... in fear dollars!

Jeremy Osborne, Peep Show (2003)
Give me the remaining dough, and all the calendars, and that PEN. Try to tear it so that most of the beads are on my end.

Roberto, Futurama, Insane in the Mainframe
You know how many birthdays there are a year? Hundreds, literally, hundreds.

Master Shake, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
I seem to have misplaced my pants.

Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you.

Jack Bauer, 24
The other night I dreamt that Xander... Uh, it wasn't Xander. In fact it wasn't me. In fact, it was a friend's dream, and she can't remember it.

Willow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?

Xander Harris: Willow, how can you...? I mean, that's really *bent*. She was... grotesque.

Willow: Still dug her, huh?

Xander Harris: I'm sick. I need help.

Willow: Don't I know it.

Xander Harris/Willow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain.

Xander Harris, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um, a mate. And then we can observe their mating rituals, and tag them before they migrate... just kill me!

Xander Harris, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Kryten- Sirs, you should take a look at this.

Rimmer- Another vessel?

Kryten-Too small. It may be a missile.

Rimmer -Impact in 37 seconds.

Kryten - Plotting random evasion course.

Cat -What?! Am I the only sane one? Drop the defensive shields!

Kryten-A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws.
One, we don't have any defensive shields, and two, we don't have any defensive shields.
Now, technically speaking, that's only one flaw,
but it was such a big one, it was worth mentioning twice.

Cat- Good point. Well made.

Anonymous, Red Dwarf, Holoship (1988)
And, of course, there's the simple carpenter's son
who went on to own the largest chain of pizza stores in history, Harry Beedlebaum.

Anonymous, Red Dwarf, Holoship (1988)
You're too weird to be a genius, maybe you're a visionary?

Mike Rowe, Dirty Jobs, Poo Pot Maker (2007)

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