Nightmare- "Well hello there!"

Lenore - "EEEEPPP!"

Nightmare - " ...what?"

Lenore - "...OK, so you like dont remember. I was here before and i was having fun with a bunny on my head an you said -lets dance- and i said -ok- and the next thing i know you all boom with the fire and the evil and the killing and ..and what kinda guy scared the poo outta a 10 year old girl anyway huh? huh? I DONT LIKE POO......AND SHUT UP!!!!! "

Nightmate- "oh you must be mistaken i would never do something so harsh plus i absolutly adore children..... with butter."

Lenore - "..waaaaait a minute... what was that last part?

Nightmate- "Let us dance the forbidden dance!"
Lenore - "Why is it forbidden?"
Nightmare - " I...dont...know.."

Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to scare you into buying useless appliances and pastes

Nothing says 'the rebirth of the American car' like people taking the subway, and a one-legged man who would rather walk.

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Yes, I have a family. I left them back on Krypton.

If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.

Lemme just talk to you for a second about something that I think is good for America: caramel apples, ... I had one last night. Delicious. Not talking about candy apples. I think candy apples are a danger! You crack 'em, they're very sharp. You candy apple crowd need to wake up!

My penis is on the loose, if you see it, try to catch it with some cheese.

"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"

Roy: Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? ... OK, well, the button on the side. Is it glowing? ... Yeah, you need to turn it on. Err, the button turns it on.

Mace: when 'get the fuck outta here' ... just won't do.

I can't wait for him to burst through the door and hug me and give me hugs!

...but I'll tell you what's not cool; killing strippers. Strippers are people too; naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind the curtain of a VIP room. Besides, there's no reason to kill them, 'cause most of them are already dead inside.

And Joe, I've had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are. Since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.

I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal.

See, Meg, things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.

What are you gonna make me do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? 'Cause I'm married.

If you want an autograph right now, you either got to give me a pen or some snow.

Make like Siamese twins and split ... and then one of you die.

Excuse me sir, I believe you're in my seat and I had sex with your mother.

Alan: Holy mother of God!

Charlie: No, unholy mother of us!

Hi! I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from...

My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

There's no motivation like desperation!

Oh I'm sorry but I think you are confusing me with someone who gives a crap.

It may be what you need, but it is not what you require

As I felt I was going to vomit anyway, I decided I might do it in some style...

Like everyone else, my list of Top 10 greatest all time songs features around 250 tracks. Fourteen of which are the best ever.

You don't have to have superpowers to be a hero.

Tom: "In local news, we have more on the approach of Hurricane Rupaul as it makes his or her way up the coast.
Let's go live to Ollie Williams with the BlaccuWeather report. Ollie?"

Ollie:"IT'S RAININ' SIDEWAYS."

Tom:"Sounds rough Ollie, Do you have an umbrella?"

Ollie:"Had one!"

Tom:"Where is it?"

Ollie:"Inside out two miles away!"

Tom:"Is there anything we can do for you?"

Ollie:"Bring me some soup!"

Tom:"What kind?"

Ollie:"Chunky!!"

Tom: "All right, we'll get right on that."

That which does not kill us makes us stranger.

Michael: What is the best thing I've told you?
Dwight: Don't be an idiot, it changed my life.

Roy: [singing] We don't need no education.
Moss: Yes you do; you've just used a double negative

They should be more honest. At least, Tony Adams from the IRA, he's like, "Yeah, I shoot people. I like shooting people."

What joke is next? "Hey, Jez, your mum's dead!"

It's payback time. And she's going to pay back... in fear dollars!

Give me the remaining dough, and all the calendars, and that PEN. Try to tear it so that most of the beads are on my end.

You know how many birthdays there are a year? Hundreds, literally, hundreds.

I seem to have misplaced my pants.

The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you.

The other night I dreamt that Xander... Uh, it wasn't Xander. In fact it wasn't me. In fact, it was a friend's dream, and she can't remember it.

Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?

Xander Harris: Willow, how can you...? I mean, that's really *bent*. She was... grotesque.

Willow: Still dug her, huh?

Xander Harris: I'm sick. I need help.

Willow: Don't I know it.

I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain.

You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um, a mate. And then we can observe their mating rituals, and tag them before they migrate... just kill me!

Kryten- Sirs, you should take a look at this.

Rimmer- Another vessel?

Kryten-Too small. It may be a missile.

Rimmer -Impact in 37 seconds.

Kryten - Plotting random evasion course.

Cat -What?! Am I the only sane one? Drop the defensive shields!

Kryten-A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws.
One, we don't have any defensive shields, and two, we don't have any defensive shields.
Now, technically speaking, that's only one flaw,
but it was such a big one, it was worth mentioning twice.

Cat- Good point. Well made.

And, of course, there's the simple carpenter's son
who went on to own the largest chain of pizza stores in history, Harry Beedlebaum.

You're too weird to be a genius, maybe you're a visionary?